Monday, May 14, 2007
enjoy the view of this water, where my lifeboat is sinking.
Can God fill teeth?
A Message to Sheri:
I just wanted to say thank you for always taking the time to read and comment my posts.
I truly appreciate that when you read them you bring yourself to the very much needed emotional level to read them, that truly means a great deal to me. I always want to reply to what you write but when I get here to write I am on a very strange emotional level. If you ever want to drop me a line, my e-mail is firstname.lastname@example.org. It's nice to know that when I look a the counter on the bottom of the page that it isn't just going up because of me. Your comments mean the world to me as it shows that what you are reading is reaching you some place and bringing forth an emotional response. I think, Sheri that your family is lucky to have you and I am probably guessing that you are an excellent mother and wife. Thanks again and I hope this does not put you off on leaving comments as it makes me feel that I can write more if people are actually plugging in with me in this erratic mind.
I did not pass out any of my zines at ArtFest today as it just did not seem like my crowd. hehe.
Hey! Who wants some crap!
I fall on broken knee's and broken heart.
As most of our conversations go, I scream and curse out into the night...
Pleading to God and Christ, begging the question "why"?
Those within earshot say nothing, just shaking their heads.
I wait for an answer and the silence in response is always heartbreaking.
I think of those who have no lack of faith.
Those that God carries and forgives.
For a moment it hurts me.
I sometimes wish I had that but,
I am a lonely soul with neither party particularly interested.
One for "The man in the planet"
Over dramatic fat man: I am here my friend. Holding out my hand, ready to return the many favors you have sent my way. All you have to do is grab one. I promise I will not let go.
The suffering hero who is hero to all but himself: I don't need saving friend.
Over dramatic fat man: You lie to save face? You are split in so many directions you cannot even recognize yourself anymore. You judge and in the next breath after the thought you lay on the sweets, afraid to break those around you but, yet again... splitting yourself from the middle. You have the worlds answers and give them out gladly to all but the one person who truly needs them. You love us from a far, you keep your distance why? So you can love us and judge us and keep those ghosts haunting un-interrupted?
The suffering hero who is hero to all but himself: How dare you?! I don't need help, I am fine! I do not judge anyone. I am here for all of you. Always. I am the shoulder you can cry on.
The Over dramatic fat man: Here for us all when all we truly want is to be there for you. But the distance is a great excuse isn't it? The perfect scape goat. Heal the world then. Heal it and become the martyr instead of the hero. I cannot beg for something you have to be already aware of... we do not want a martyr... we want to save our hero....
The suffering hero who is hero to all but himself: ......................................
How will the story end? In heartbreak? In a nifty twist ending? Happily ever after? We cannot honestly say. The end cannot be determined by anyone but one character...
We cannot begin to guess what choice they will make.
The sparkle of those eyes.
The spotlight catching our embraced shadows.
With no trace of our crime anywhere.
A mix tape created to seduce on side A.
And fall in love on side B.
The night has become pure danger.
Our "swear jar" is full of quarters and dollar bills.
And we crash our car into the waves of a midnight moonlit ocean.
Sea creatures staring in disbelief as we make love in the sand.
And when the sun begins to rise these erratic hearts will explode.
Our mistakes will shatter the sensibilities of former lovers and enraged admirers.
When we fall into the darkness of each others eyes and taste the sweet in our wet kiss...
We will become nova.
And the world will never forget us.
The pictures from the photo booth of silly faces, warm embraces and tender kisses
will fascinate for all eternity.
And I am right there with them.
What have we left to fear?
i lost my true love in an ocean of doubt and sorrow...
we are still drowning.
in the darkness i walk arms out and fingers spread,
sometimes i swear i can feel your ghost.
the sky has lost it's sparkle and the heavens have disappeared.
the angels have gone.
Did I lose some readers tonight?
Love, Captain PirateFace
"This is your world in which we grow, and we will grow to hate you"
my problem is i love too much.
How can you save me when you can't save yourself?
"nothing can save
it keeps the walls
— Charles Bukowski
it keeps the walls
— Charles Bukowski