Monday, May 28, 2012
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Monday, May 21, 2012
I am a phony. A liar. Lowlife. Addict. Pervert. Piece of shit. Ugly... Ugly inside and out. Damaged Goods. Fat. Lazy. Perpetual loser. A sinner. A false prophet. Nuts. Crazy. A Lunatic. Psycho.
I see the mirror and I get sick... I get angry and I hate that fucking face so much, And all I can do is hate... as I am stuck with me... this loser... for the rest of my pathetic life.
fuck you and you and you and you....
fuck all of you... I hope you are enjoying the fucking train wreck....
Sunday, May 20, 2012
she sprung her trap the day she responded with "I love you too" for the very first time.
she laughed and cried through every hug and moment and orgasm
only to "shrug her shoulders" when the best of us began to die.
Did you have to be so perfect?
Did you have to ruin me for the rest?
she lost her passion for me... and I guess I understand.
she couldn't "Love" me... just like I knew she couldn't from the start...
but I never minded her "pretending".
She used to smile at me and kiss my mouth hello and goodbye.
She used to have me over for dinner and spend time with me.
We used to make love.
We used to laugh together.
I was her "heat rock" to snuggle up to on cold nights.
I now mean nothing...
I have lost another lover and another friend and wonder to myself if its even worth it anymore.
Saturday, May 19, 2012
I breath so slow now...
Trying to keep myself alive.
Without the need to fall asleep sobbing.
I listen to slow sad crawl music and it keeps the cracks, started by you... growing slowly.
You should have gave my heart back when you stole yours away. Its not fair and now all I have is this mess I have become. Hollow.
You can't always avoid reflective surfaces.
Trying to avoide seeing yourself alone.
I always seem to catch a glimpse..
He seems so fucking sad.
Just another fat man pining
away and crying late into the night
for his own Marilyn Monroe..
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Rockbiter: They look like big, strong hands... don't they? I always thought that's what they were. My little friends. The little man with his racing snail, the Nighthob, even the stupid bat. I couldn't hold onto them. The nothing pulled them right out of my hands. I failed.
Atreyu: No, you didn't fail. I'm the one who was chosen to stop the nothing. But I lost the Auryn, I can't find my luck dragon, so I won't be able to get past the boundries of Fantasia.
Rockbiter: Listen, the nothing will be here any minute. I will just sit here and let it take me away too. They look like big, strong hands... don't they?
- The Neverending Story
-Rainer Maria Rilke-
"Extinguish my sight, and I can still see you; plug up my ears, and I can still hear; even without feet I can walk toward you, and without mouth I can still implore. Break off my arms, and I will hold you with my heart as if it were a hand; strangle my heart, and my brain will still throb; and should you set fire to my brain, I still can carry you with my blood."
-Rainer Maria Rilke-
Love and mad respect...
Friday, May 11, 2012
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Tuesday, May 08, 2012
Monday, May 07, 2012
Sunday, May 06, 2012
How can you save me when you can't save yourself?
it keeps the walls
— Charles Bukowski