The best thing about life, Is knowing you put it together

"They look like big strong hands... don't they?"

Water rolls down the skin like tiny beads..
Eyes close so that they might see.
Illum tangendo (touching him)
This sun is a star in someone else's sky
Illum tangendo (touching him)
This moon is making someone cry...
Illum tangendo (touching him)

Captain PirateFace say's "Ahoy!"

Captain PirateFace say's "Ahoy!"
Updated by, Captain PirateFace

The Captain

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This is not an Exit

Never Say Die!!!





























"the tigers have found me
and I do not care."

Charles Bukowski

there is no fear here

there is no fear here
there is a fear here

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Also Coming Up Tomorrow



Yo! Las Vegas locals get off yer fat asses and support some local culture!



Art in the Square - Friday, March 28

It's an Art Affair at Town Square!
Town Square Las Vegas will host Art in the Square on Friday, March 28 from 4 pm to 8 pm at Town Square Park. The event will feature exhibits by local artists, live entertainment and activities for children. A portion of sales by the exhibitors will benefit the Children’s Heart Foundation, whose goal is to bring health, hope and happiness to children impacted by congenital heart defects. Art in the Square will take place every fourth Friday of the month from March through September.


This event will be located in Town Square Park and on Town Square West Street. Entertainment will include activities for the children such as drawing, face painting, magic acts, and balloon art; live music in the Pavilion presented by Michael Soli; and wine by the glass service from Brio.

If you are interested in more information pertaining to the event, please call Susan Holland at 702-269-5016.

Town Square Las Vegas, developed by Turnberry Associates and Centra Properties, is an open-air shopping, dining and entertainment center on the Las Vegas Strip at the Intersection of I-15 and the 215 Beltway. An eclectic mix of retail, restaurants and more comprise Town Square Las Vegas in addition to an interactive children’s park, Town Square Park for special events and Class A office space. For more information visit http://www.townsquarelasvegas.com/.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

sweet surrender to the shadows that break my heart


The stains of Love that saturate my longing heart.

Hurry up and wait for me as I love you from a distance...
childhood crush style.
Hating every thought that forms around you.
Caressing your naked body with slow soft poetry bringing tears of joy to my eyes as you kiss them away mistaking them for pain.
The sun set long ago and a pleasant breezy night comes sneaking through our window, tip toeing across pale nude flesh bringing forth little goose bumps. A similar caress at the nape of your neck past your hips and ending around your legs with one lone finger.
My heart beats loud and fast but you know this as you can feel it through you back while I press up against you, turning our joint heartbeats into one beautiful spastic thunder crash.
I lose myself in you completely and do not care.
The world beyond this darkened room could be falling apart and all I would need is this moment... now.
Forever and ever.




Living in shambles behind the scenes

sleeping like good friend death has pulled my plug once again
I hear phantom footsteps yet nobody sneaking behind me.
I feel a numb comfortable warmth all around me, lulling me into a
false fetal joy...
Jelly of the womb.
Ready to be birthed...
shit out.
Smiling a jokers grin, putting out the vibe that gets the ladies wet
and the young men cower with fear.
But don't mind me...
I am just tasting life in small delicate licks and vicious meaty bites.


Captain PirateFace

Friday, March 21, 2008

i was livin' in a devil town...


The following was written in a stupor of some kind ( I will not verify if it was drug induced or drink induced ) am I using that to excuse any of what I typed? no... I feel that honesty is the best policy no matter how bitter the taste. So below you can dwell in the naked feelings of a fool who writes to read his own silly gibberish....

Captain PirateFace

____________________________________________________________________



"I was livin in a devil town..
didn't know it was a devil town...
Oh lord it really brings me down about the devil town.
And all my friends were vampires.
Didn't know they were vampires..
Turns out I was a vampire myself in the devil town."



A message to the masses from Captain PirateFace

Fuck you all.
Did you hear that?
Fuck you all.
This isn't some emo teens blog.
This isn't some over privileged fuckers writing time.
This is little bits and pieces of my stupid little life.
Don't be surprised that that crack in the ice have appeared under my feet.
And yes I was directly quoting Pink Floyd.
I am fucking Flawed.
I try in my Love Life, My Family Life, My Job and I fail at all three...
I am not a good husband, father or worker.
I rely on little white pills to stabilise my already complicated moods.
Every stupid little poem written is from my sick guts.
Guts that some of you can claim responsibility for helping destroy.
You know who you are if your even reading at all.
I won't name names.
Do you know what it's like to get up day after day and come to grips
with the fact that you cannot succeed. That people around you tell you lies
and give you false hope knowing full God damn well you will never do it, Never make it?
I miss my family. I am sick of being so alone.
I am so sick and sad that my son, my poor little boy has a father like me....
my special little boy.
The only person to bring joy into this sad pathetic world I own.
He deserves so much more than me.
He is the only reason I haven't killed myself, Because I am selfish and can't stand the thought
of not seeing his little face smile and see him sing along to his songs and to hold him and to watch
him breath as he sleeps.

And I can almost guess what your thinking....
Oh Captain is he not reason enough?
He should be shouldn't he?
You would think....
and he inspires me.
But I always end up failing and falling.
And I think some days he would be better
off having a decent dead father than a living shitty one.
My wife and I have the same problem.
We have nobody we can talk too, Because when she opens up to me
I cannot face her honesty and treat it as an attack.
It's the cowards way of reacting... I just cant take her feelings of feeling helpless and
hurt and alone on top of my mounted problems. And though I know she does not read this
piece of shit blog I am sorry to her for that.
I wish she had picked better and I wish I wasn't so damn selfish by begging her not to leave me all the time.
Even though she greatly deserves her freedom from me.

So again...
any of you pre judging fucks speak up. I have nothing left to lose.
I will meet you in any alley or street in the Valley and take you on fist to fist just to
get the blood back on my hands and regain some of that sick perverse strength I would find in the
act of near murder.
For those of you with half a heart and some very mild interest in this horrorshow.
I am sorry I am batshit crazy.
I am sorry.
I am sorry.
I am sorry.








That is all for now and again I am sorry.

Good listening:
PJ Harvey = Before Departure
Gus Gus = Is Jesus your pal?

Friday, March 07, 2008

the silence is what scares me the most


so much since last time posted....




Gina's art show at Tao was cool... I enjoyed far too much free wine and got a wee bit drunk (video to be posted at a later date). And exposed her art to a new clientele. Tao enjoyed her work and have invited her back with an artist of her choosing. Tonight is "First Friday" so that should either be a) really cool and Gina makes some $$$ or b) balls boring and we make jack. I am not going to do a zine this month but will be passing POTR flyer's with an original poem not found on this lousy under-updated site. On the awesome news from Nine Inch Nails has Sprung a new album on us called " Ghosts I-IV " which is all instrumental. One word to describe it would be "Amazing". Two words to describe it "Fucking Amazing". And the price is great, if you go to http://www.nin.com/ and order the album (only $10) it will be shipped to you on it's official release date and you will get a free download of all 36 tracks. The music ranges from the typical melancholy stuff (Stuff I dig) to funky electro beats, to noise. If you like Aphex Twin it will be right up your alley. Just go buy it!




So other then that things have been... well as they always are.

My grandfather who had a heart attack had to have surgery (to relieve pressure in his bladder)that didn't go to well which they had to stop in the middle of do to, too much bleeding and they will try again in a few weeks. Cannot say how that one goes but I hope this surgery gets completed as if it does not he will have to have a catheter

My wife still hates me and is still in a planning stage to leave me around summer time but I will keep trying to get her to fall back in love with me.
I cannot "not" try.
But in all reality I know she doesn't love me anymore and I am holding on to a fading memory of a person she no longer is or can be, just like me. She stays with me because she "has nowhere else to go" which are her words. My marriage is a lie and a farce and I do not think she is capable of loving me ever again... and the sad part is, I am starting not to care anymore. I know I love her but what am I holding on to? A loveless, sexless marriage where every thing I do is looked upon with disdain, disgust and hatred. All the while I float through life a melancholy Zombie.
My fucking lot in life, but then again what did I expect?
I always loved the girls who could never really love me back.
The worst part of all this drama? It's really all my fault.
I rely on "other" things to quell the sadness and violence in my mind.
And every time I open my mouth I just end up hurting someone or embarrassing myself.
If I didn't have that one shining light of joy in my life... Gabriel.
It would be curtains for John B. Robison III a.k.a. Captain PirateFace

It's times like this I really miss my family.


Below you will find some new stuff and hopefully tonight after "First Friday" (which if you live in the Las Vegas area you should attend, 6pm to 10pm) I will post some more.

Sorry about that lack of updates... I Suck.

May God help us all...

Captain PirateFace










___________________________________________________________________

We the people

They feed their fear with multi-colored horrors and dark sinister laughter.
Smiling at the troubled face of a sad and dying God.
Waiting for their opportunity to dine on the deity's flesh.
Rotten to the core...
The whole lot of us.


Last Resorts (Blowing the dust out of the old video games to make them playable again)

I waited for hours for a single phone call...
But kept busy all night playing "Bionic Commando"
But I kept losing life and falling into chasm's because I couldn't get you off my mind.
I try and fill my heart with Nintendo...
but it really aches for you.
And I do not know if I can handle another "Game Over" with you.
So we keep playing "Games"...
with broken remote controls.


Can't you relearn to smile?

I have taken so much from you...
and you from me.
We tear the small its of flesh from one another, till only our bones remain.
Leering at one another in skeletal blame.


Am I hurting your limited Feelings?

I keep looking for a drug, a little white pill that makes the world seem less difficult.
A drug that distorts my view and calms my crawling skin.
But they all seem to just dumb it all down.
Numb the soul for a moment..
My busy and infected mind begs and pleads for solutions.
And I just cannot except that there are none to be found.


With every breath...
With every step...
I lose touch
and lose you.

Every step is pained.
Heavy.
Every day
Every breath
Every heartbeat, sad song and whisper...
is one step closer to being alone.
to death.
Some days it makes sense.
But most days it just makes me sad.
But it really is inevitable isn't it?
And every once in a while I sit alone thinking...
Could I really be lonelier than I am now?
Every day I wake up and stand looking in the mirror,
sometimes laughing.
sometimes not laughing...
wondering why a greater power could be so damn cruel.
I am almost out of humanity.
Do I let death greet me slowly?
Step by step?
Or, go valiantly into deaths loving arms?
As a coward I may never know the answer...

Never.






Captain PirateFace










How can you save me when you can't save yourself?

"nothing can save
you
except
writing.
it keeps the walls
from
failing."

Charles Bukowski