The best thing about life, Is knowing you put it together

"They look like big strong hands... don't they?"

Water rolls down the skin like tiny beads..
Eyes close so that they might see.
Illum tangendo (touching him)
This sun is a star in someone else's sky
Illum tangendo (touching him)
This moon is making someone cry...
Illum tangendo (touching him)

Captain PirateFace say's "Ahoy!"

Captain PirateFace say's "Ahoy!"
Updated by, Captain PirateFace

The Captain

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This is not an Exit

Never Say Die!!!





























"the tigers have found me
and I do not care."

Charles Bukowski

there is no fear here

there is no fear here
there is a fear here

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

R.I.P. Babygirl

So.. my mom had to bring Babygirl (one of our cats) to the vet yesterday to be put down... as I have known and hung out with Babygirl since I was fourteen this makes me very sad. But she was old and she was suffering. Today explained to Gabriel with my mom that Babygirl is gone and in Heaven now... he took it well and said he will miss her. Me too.

She loved music, as we soon found out after adopting her many years ago. If there was a stereo rocking... there she would be grinning ear to ear and purring up a storm... and she hung out with me allot through my teenage years (and should be given a medal just for that!) And would bite me all to hell and tear me up with her back claws when I was brave enough to try and touch her butt... she hated that. She was my listener when I would shed teenage tears over silly teenage bullshit and when she wanted to lay with you... a very soft and sweet cuddler.

I love you Babygirl... you grumpy old bitch! ;-)
I will miss you as you were a great kitty and spectacular friend. Till we meet again... and yes.. I am going to "Cat Heaven".

Johnny

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Saturday, June 23, 2012

guess what?

Life is still fucking bullshit.

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Friday, June 15, 2012

found

Pasted to the roof of an elevator in Downtown Las Vegas...

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Tuesday, June 12, 2012

i am nobodies favorite person

I wish I was... but nobody will ever love me like I loved them.


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one day i won't be here anymore

..and one day you may be sorry when I am gone.


How else is it supposed to end?


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solo

Fuck it. I don't need you. I don't need her. I don't need them. I don't need mommy and daddy either. Fuck everybody kindly.


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sad thinker


I am a sad thinker.

I want to have peace and stop the frowning and the heartache.
I want to stop being beaten down and always wrong.

I want to turn away from the darkness.

I want to make everyone know the love I have for them.

I want to stop these thoughts that tear into me.
I want to become the end of the story.
I want no more opposition.
I want no more dread.

I want to stop feeling so damn sad.
I want out.

I want out now.

Monday, June 11, 2012

nightmare port hole

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tamed

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clown finds victim blood and smiles at memory...

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this zebra want's to fuck yall! Just look at dem eyes!

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sex worker

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psychic pirate

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right?

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and it still hurts just beneath the skin...

When I look at your photos... you never look away from me. You smile because the world still hadn't "wronged" you. And I still meant something. And now I represent "nothing" as that is what I have become and what I get in return. My heart has broke into a thousand pieces.. you cleaned up every little piece and never asked what it used to be. It wasn't important enough.


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Hello Johnny...

Hello Johnny...



fuck you and g'night.


Captain PirateFace

Wednesday, June 06, 2012

i don't know what to do anymore...

let me tell you about my days these days....

I wake up all night long at different times as I stay in an un-air-conditioned house and have no real bed to sleep in.... or bedroom for that matter (like mini-fucking ovens) but usually get up around 2am or after... I don't have to wake up till 4am. I start work at 5:30am setting up "search" (where we pat down our kids) and un-locking various doors. I go outside with the arriving kids at 6:40am and begin "Wanding teens(ages 11-19)" (Metal detection for weapons)  who are attending my school for a variety of reasons: Too many behavior infractions or a "Campus Disturbance" which can include mild freak-outs and silly things like "out-of-control pranks" to starting a riot. Fighting and Assault (of other students, teachers, school police, etc..) Violent Behavior, Tagging, Gang Affiliation, Drugs, the sale and purchase of (Prescription Pills: Xanax, Percocet, Oxy's, Weed, Meth, Black Tar Heroin, Booze, etc..) Sexual Assault, Drug Paraphernalia, and weapons. I then start the Pat-Down process from 7:am to 7:30am. I then attend to fights, kids under the influence, mental breakdowns, freakouts in class, overdoses, teacher ego's and attitudes, CPS issues (neglect and abuse), and that's all with the normal growing pains these kids already have as pre-teens and teens. I do this until 1:30pm.



And as hard as it is that is the very best part of my day.


I then go home and spend six to eight hours a day crying on and off like a god damn baby. I sit here madly in love with a girl who could care if I fucking up and disappeared who not only actively doesn't call me but actively  avoids me like the plague. Yet I come home and spend hours alone pining away for her and she can't even give me a phone call. I am also not allowed on her Facebook...She doesn't want me to see her get flirted with by her scummy fucking fanbase. This was the girl I "was" ring hunting for. The girl who's family I fell in love with only to have them think I am some scumbag after their daughters home... yep... that's me. And all I want is their daughters heart and love... I am a selfish fuck. 




 I sit here hoping to hear from one of my "two" friends and find I am only needed when they are in need. whatever.


I sit here loveless and friendless for hours on end... only falling asleep when I tire from crying. Pathetic yes... but it's not like any mother fuckers are even reading this besides me. Does it give me perspective? No.
Does it help give me relief to vent... it's supposed to I guess.


I have nobody and nothing...


except...


My amazing little boy and those kids at my school who are hurting and defenseless and need a guy like me looking out for them. If it wasn't for those two things I would have absolutely nothing. Take those things away from me and you might as well put me on watch and lockdown... because it would be over. Shit... it's hard just living now.




fuck tonight and every night anymore




Captain PirateFace

sad

Does anybody even read this motherfucker?

How can you save me when you can't save yourself?

"nothing can save
you
except
writing.
it keeps the walls
from
failing."

Charles Bukowski