" A warm place " by nine inch nails-Singing by Stella Soleil (unreleased version)
-find it and download it, truly beautiful-
water rolls down the skin like tiny beads
eyes close so that they might see.
illum tangendo
this sun is a star in someone else's sky
this moon is making someone cry
illum tangendo.
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to my "friends" that think i am scum of the earth. i just might be and i am sorry you had to find out how terrible of a person i truly am. but do not pretend to know what my life entails, walk in my shoes and then start digging the grave and let me know if i still deserve to be buried alive. as of getting what i deserve... i don't deserve what i have in the first place. i wish i did but i don't. i am not a good person. i play it up that i am but i am truly not. but, i believe i have the ability to change and anyone who says different was never a friend to begin with. i will change, blink and you will miss it. i will be all that i have always wanted. i am truly sorry that you believe that i am this horrible person. i may be a horrible person but i can also say that i am other things as well. sometimes lonely, sometimes desperately sad, sometimes a hero to a teenager who needs somebody to listen, and even sometimes a good father. remember "judge lest ye be judged"... we all have the occasional skeleton grinning devilishly from our closet.
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This past weekend I had the chance to see my "little" cousin Shazia graduate from the university of Santa Cruz. I cannot put into words how utterly proud I am of her. She was completely radiant while waiting for her name to be called. When I hugged her and congratulated her, I could not help but burst out in tears with how very proud I am of her. It was a great day and a bit of a rough on for this old pirate. I couldn't help but think how badly I wished that I had gone to collage and done something remarkable. All in all though my thoughts would drift over to my son and I realized I had done something remarkable. I am totally in love with Santa Cruz and know I will someday, hopefully sooner than later. Here are some pictures from the Graduation and the Santa Cruz Boardwalk.
Shazia on Graduation day...isn't she cute
Shazia tired from Graduation Day.
Wild haired captain PirateFace with Gabe the creep.
and that's all for tonight
Goodnight from,
Captain
2 comments:
Hey Johnny I miss u!!! I hope you had a good time! Can you send me some of the pics u took.
Well, I am glad u had fun. U'r cousin is beautiful. I wish I could have graduated high school. shoot..... I don't know who coould possably think bad of you, they must not know whats inside. All they have to do is look into your eyes, or watch you with gabe. Sure, I see it through pics. But I see it. Don't ever give up on life, you deserve it.
Sheri
Gee I am so stinking preachy, ewwwww
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