morning quote for thursday fucking morning

Enjoy your day you mad cap mother fuckers.

luv

Captain PirateFace

"There's nothing to mourn about death any more than there is to mourn about the growing of a flower. What is terrible is not death but the lives people live or don't live up until their death. They don't honor their own lives, they piss on their lives. They shit them away. Dumb fuckers. They concentrate too much on fucking, movies, money, family, fucking. Their minds are full of cotton. They swallow God without thinking, they swallow country without thinking. Soon they forget how to think, they let others think for them. Their brains are stuffed with cotton. They look ugly, they talk ugly, they walk ugly. Play them the great music of the centuries and they can't hear it. Most people's deaths are a sham. There's nothing left to die. "

-Charles Bukowski-

How the lovely people treat me at my lovely work.

a poem to express my annoyance.









They break

Open minded and somewhat slow.We are the eternal rag tag crew, off to the side…
Swallowing our pride and taking the random punch to the face.Then we write shitty little poems about the experience.
We are grown men and women pathetically holding on to youth.
We are grown and treated like children by our equals and betters.There is no respecting this diseased outfit of strangers, weirdo’s and losers.
But I am sick of laying my pride, heart and soul at your feet to trample upon.And although my people live poorly and enjoy the stranger aspects of life we love more fiercely than you could even begin to understand.
You old women and oppressive degree holders.
You haters of music art and poetry.
I hope your Hell is well lit.
And I hope you are given a mirror to watch yourself burn.

I'm not sleeping... cold wind blowing....

My friends and bitter enemies I swear I have yet to give up the Ghost....

I have been worse off than I have felt in a long time.

My days are painfully sad and depressing.

But I think I am ready for a change...

we shall see...

contact Captain PirateFace for a random telephone encounter!!!

702-624-2380

here be some shite...

whiny day

Listless dreamer
always a little bit
sad.
always a little bit
perturbed.
Always in search for the faded
and dreamy sleep
one so damn hopeless such as I
crave and beg for.
piss and moan.

piss

and
moan.




Home Sweet Home

a hollow place...
where I can perfect my callow ways.
A dark place where my heartbeat slows down to a crawl.
And I sit staring at scary images on the television set...
black and white films filling my emptying head.
Did I tell you I am dying?




Mr. Death

Jumped by Mr. Dead...
walking around town
bloated and blue

and in an almost

"ghostly" daze.
Eyes sunk back
and lips curled showing
off your lifetime of
dental work

and

your winning smile.

peace out.

alone with toto's bloody fucking paw.

Yikes.
What a heading eh? CHRIST O'MIGHTY!
Spell check said that "O'MIGHTY" is misspelled.... I beg to differ.
So as you can plainly see... I am not dead yet. Yipee.
Tomorrow I shall hunt for the Egg's that the Christ Rabbit hid with my tiger of a son. And we shall feast on the un-born egg boiled inside it's shell and worship at the feat of the great fucking big bunny-god. Amen and yep.

too many noises in this house.
chripes.

ok turn off tv man.
turn off down low.
down
looooooooooooooooooow.
shabang.
doowop.
debweidewbop.

check out later post's for more inner peace and some bit of sense.

searching through darkness to find a light I may never, ever find...

I have been not in my head lately and feel that I am ready to collapse. I have been doing things I swore I would never do and act in ways I swore I would never act. Like several people rolled up into one strange animal that walks this world, always weary and always ready for a fight with bloodied meat between my teeth. I feel like I don't have a home. My voice is being quieted more and more and I feel like I need to scream. But I cant. I cant let the whole world know how crazy this lunatic has become. What challenges lay ahead for me? It almost seems like death is innevitable. Like I am pre-disposed to die at this young but old feeling age. By my hand or by accident I am not too sure, but the end reult feels all the same to me. No more me. No more vile lunatic. No more oafish asshole. No more sarcasm and failing witty banter. No more crying. No more fearing. No more dissapointing. I just want to be me again and that is damn hard to do when I never knew who I was to begin with. I am so tired all the time now. I only laugh with a drink in my stomache or a chemicle in my blood. I mostly frown and have no strength to do anything of importance anymore. "What about your son?" He should be enough that I just force positive change in my heart and soul and I feel that I am a bastard because I cannot force that change. I love my boy with all my heart and would die for him... maybe I am supposed to die for him? Would he be better off in this world without me... probably. It might be better to live in a world without me and just an idea of who I was... a memory. It would be good for him if it where true with not just me but most of his dishelved and stark raving mad family if we all just up and dissapeared. My poor son... with parents like his what chance does he have? In a world like this?
Both his mother and I are sick and do nothing to get better. What can be done to save his soul?
God I hope something...

fire

things are getting wacky yo?

as my world collapses around me...

Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails posted this recently on NIN.COM

"Towards the beginning of my career in Nine Inch Nails, our biggest break came in the form of an invitation to perform a series of shows with Jane's Addiction. These performances essentially created and defined the term "alternative" rock in the US, created an ongoing festival franchise that is still thriving (Lollapalooza), set the stage for Nirvana to shift popular taste a few months later, and were really fucking FUN to play and attend - truly the best times I've had. The shows were epic. So epic, they propelled NIN to the "next level" (whatever that means), but caused Jane's to implode. The band broke up at the end of that tour.Fast forward to the present. Corporate rock STILL sucks. A friend tells me they saw the original Jane's lineup play a tiny show in LA that was unbelievable. I break out my Jane's records and am amazed by how vital they sound. These guys were the real deal and in this current climate mostly dominated by poseurs and pussies it was refreshing to hear something that sounded dangerous, volatile, beautiful and SINCERE.Emails were sent, phone calls were made, dinner was arranged, ideas were discussed and the next thing I know we're in the studio experimenting. We laugh, we get to know each other, we cry, we yell, we almost quit, we record LOTS of guitar solos, we discuss, we actually begin to all communicate, we yell some more, we become FRIENDS, we laugh again and we do some great things. I get to see first hand why they broke up all those years ago but I also get the chance to see four distinct personalities that become an INCREDIBLE band when they're in the same room.In NIN world, 2009 marks the 20th anniversary of our first releases. I've been thinking for some time now it's time to make NIN disappear for a while. Last year's "Lights in the Sky" tour was something I'm quite proud of and seems like the culmination of what I could pull off in terms of an elaborate production. It was also quite difficult to pull off technically and physically night after night and left us all a bit dazed. After some thought, we decided to book a last run of shows across the globe this year. The approach to these shows is quite different from last year - much more raw, spontaneous and less scripted. Fun for us and a different way for you to see us and wave goodbye. I reached out to Jane's to see if they'd want to join us across the US and we all felt it could be a great thing. Will it work? Will it resonate in the marketplace? Who knows. Is there big record label marketing dollars to convince you to attend? Nope.Does it feel right to us and does it seem like it will be fun for us and you? Yes it does.Look for tour dates soon and I hope to see you out there.

Trent"

If this means no more Nine Inch Nails I am a very sad man.

Other than that things are as they always are.... pure shit.
I am broke. I am sad. I am being vilified by my soon to be ex-wife. But... whatever.
I shouldn't expect more than this, should I?

an old post on an old blog:

May 1st, 2007 at 10:46 am

One of my fondest memories as a boy was the time me and a few buddies climbed “Frenchman Mountain” in Las Vegas, Nevada. Las Vegas is a rough place to grow up if you have a love for outdoor adventure, as the temperature rises up to and above one hundred and fifteen degrees. So, we rarely ventured out during those blistering summer months. We had decided on a Friday night that we were going to climb (conquer) the large mountain that sat behind our collected neighborhoods. We woke up early on a Saturday morning and picked up the necessary supplies. In my brilliance, while my two friends brought water, a flare gun, cell phone and tinder sticks… My necessity was copious amounts of “Beef Jerky” and Mountain Dew. Suffice to say I was dying of thirst after we got about half way up the mountain. Luckily my two good buddies brought extra water, foreseeing my inability to plan for an outdoor adventure. We climbed the face of that mountain and it took about half a day to reach it’s summit, but when we did… man oh man! The most spectacular view of Las Vegas you could ever imagine. We spent two hours at the top talking about life, girls, our hopes and dreams. We then began to descend. Being inexperienced climbers we spent most of our remaining day sliding down the mountain on our bottoms, thus tearing apart our worn blue jeans. By the time we just reached the bottom the sun was beginning to set. We later found out that if we had asked the older brother of one friend, he would of told us about a trail that set's roughly behind the mountain and brings you up to almost the exact same place we had reached by climbing the face of the mountain (with no climbing gear either). But, I wouldn’t have traded our mistake for the easy way for all the riches in the world. Our climb that day remains one of my very most cherished memories.

So... life is funny like that I guess...




Talk at you later...

The Captain

have you ever seen the light

I feel as if I just can't seem to move beyond this unmovable rut.
I feel as if (and this has nothing to do with "suicide" so nobody panic and start calling help lines) my time on this earth is running short, like I am almost done or maybe outlived and expiration date
labeled someplace on my soul.

My medication won't be ready for pick up until Friday which = Balls.

I started taking Lexapro to help with my Bi-Polar mood fuck ups...
I am not really sure as to how I truly feel about this but we will see.

I wish I had more friends, at times I feel very lonely and that kind of adds a bit more craziness to the neurotic feelings I already have.

Here is some brand spankin' new poems by yours truly made up on the spot... and remember, it has to hurt if it's to heal.





A ray of sunshine!

I never could understand how you could smile at the sky and swear up and down that it was
beautiful just for us...
How the stars were ours
and the half moon in all it's Cheshire Cat smile glory was hanging in the sky
all due to our love and acknowledgement.
But not anymore.
I hope your stars still shine for you.
I hope your moon still hangs in the darkness over your head...
And, I truly hope with all my heart that it still makes you smile.




Baby, I'm your man.

I may be a mess baby.
all scars and sore bones and ugly face...
is all for you.
My fist clenched tight with my heart buried deep within my palm,
My eyes wet with sentimentality and fear
and the way I mumble through my words...
all for you darling.
This boat may be leaking but I will swallow away the sea water for you.
This cloud may be raining and the lightning may be flashin' but I will shield you
from the oncoming storm.
This road may be lonely and the path may be rough, but baby...
I can't stop to smell the roses when you are that much closer with every step.
Baby, I'm your man.




The lost tears of the last time I cried.






























































p.s.

Brandon, makes me cry.... yo.

my god how my patience wanes.

I am at work right now and I could easily snap today as my patience is at it's very limitied.

Why do people think they deserve things they have not worked for?
What kind of fucking bullshit is that eh?
I am so fucking sick of being bled fucking dry.
But what the fuck ever.
I don't fucking care anymore.
I am just sick to death of people trying to fuck me over at every point.

every

fucking

day.

I hate feeling mad and annoyed like this.
I just have this feeling I am getting screwed over all the time.

fuck it.














I am trying to keep calm and breath, breath, breath through my nose and feel it rise in my chest. And I am trying not to come unglued. I am trying not to lose my cool and explode. I want to scream and cry and lose my God damn mind but I am trying to remain calm.

breathing in.

breathin out.

breathing in.

breathing out.















oh and here is some writing...




Keeping Calm.

Eaten alive?
Smiling into the face of unknown voids and
deep dark chasms.
Be a Hero.
Be Brave.
Be a man little boy...
Just for one night.
Breath.

so as the fucking gigantic assfuck of a world turns...

my car is dead.

long live the car.

my life.......................
rocks.


hey guess what?!?!?

SOME POETRY YO!!!



Enjoy the stink of it's raw shittiness....






Oval

There has been so much terror behind these eyes
I have used my tears to wash my vision clean.
And now I finally write.
And it brings real pain to my hand with it's
lactic acid and heartache.


One for the devil child (Gabriel) in waiting

In winter's cold biting air I wait for my favorite
Tasmanian Devil to exit the learning facility he
so eagerly terrorizes.
I wait and can't wait...
Missing him so bad the mess he will emerge in will
be no bother at all.

Crazy (under the bridge with the fat ass trolls)

We build insanity on Love...
And love, on insanity.
It's what keeps us eagerly waiting in the middle of
a freezing night, standing under a car port.
And this misbegotten love pumps blood...
Warm blood into my heart.
I stand here like the lunatic I have fought through
the heartache to become.

Madonna

As we prepare for moments we are unprepared for, I look to my
saintly lady and she prays for my salvation.
Absolution will only come through the victory of all that is set to destroy
everything I have ever wanted to be.



Dirty Sluts make the whole God damned world go round.

He loved himself a methwhore spitting out raw poetry and teeth
while screaming down the moon.
He loved himself that charming scared girl in her black attire and
her always present stories of failed suicide attempts and vicious razor
scars up and down her legs and arms.


Old Cat

Grey and white old lady cat gets comfortable on my lap.
She purrs with her little old voice letting out a small raspy
meow every once and a while.
I run my hand down her head and back feeling her old bones
sticking out.
That's all she is now...
Skin and old bones, and full fur that makes her look far younger
than she really is.
When I was a teenage boy and the world seemed so hard and stacked
against me, I knew I could always cry to her and she would lovingly
rub her head on my face to wipe away the tears and rub a gracious amount
of fur into my eyes and mouth bringing on small allergy attacks.
I look at her now almost 15 years later and I can't imagine this world
without her...
As her little white hairs get stuck beneath the keys of the keyboard as I type,
type, type away.

For Baby, Love Johnny


Call Girl

I felt like a "Lucky Guy"
Whatever the fuck that meant.
I had a slightly used beautiful girl hanging on my every
over thought words.
And it didn't even bother me that she was paid by the hour.


Devil Child Part Two

I stand outside sniffing the air, it smells cold out today
with a hint of Mexican food.
The sky is an amazing blue with a scattered cloud here and there,
fucking up the near perfect sky.
I ready myself for the most dangerous child in known history...
My little man, Gabriel.
I am patient and know that his day will be that much more chaotic
and fun when I hand him his $1 Ninja sword I am holding under my arm.

Life is just perfect beautiful sometimes.
Washing all my blues away.




gone.

I am looking through cracked windows and trying to capture her
smile one last time in my fading memory.
And every window is dark or boarded up or are too dirty to see through.
Knowing all the while there will never be a smile on her face again.


Understanding the infinite annoyance of being a writer.
(well, at least pretending too)

Can I live up to the Olympian challenge of life?
I can strive for these fingers to be torpedo's and rocket's
blasting and exploding hot burning ink all over the paper.
Madman laughter spitting little bit's of teeth with every cackle in
my thick headed skull.
Trying to fill this writers body with a wee bit of soul.


Well kiddies it isn't much but let me know what ya think.




Milk and Kisses

Captain PirateFace

talapia part 2

"Talapia"

"Talapia"

"Talapia"

"Talapia"

"Talapia"

"Talapia"

"Talapia"

"Talapia"

"Talapia"

"Talapia"

"Talapia"

"Talapia"

"Talapia"

"Talapia"

"Talapia"

"Talapia"

"Talapia"

"Talapia"

"Talapia"

"Talapia"

"Talapia"

"Talapia"

"Talapia"

"Talapia"

"Talapia"

"Talapia"

"Talapia"

"Talapia" "Talapia" "Talapia" "Talapia" "Talapia" "Talapia" "Talapia" "Talapia" "Talapia" "Talapia" "Talapia" "Talapia" "Talapia"

"Talapia" "Talapia" "Talapia" "Talapia" "Talapia" "Talapia" "Talapia" "Talapia" "Talapia" "Talapia" "Talapia" "Talapia" "Talapia"

Talapia

shucks I didn't think anybody would notice if I just up and disappeared.

life is damn beautiful.

So, how ya doin'?

See you've met my faithful handyman.

just joshin' ya.

(Joshin' is to joke as in to pull ones fucking leg yo!!!)

So I am still trying to arrange the divorce of my marriage and coming up with complications everyday. I am reminded constantly how I have screwed everybody's lives up and that I am a horrible person/father. But I digress... I think I am an OK fella.

Hey sometimes I hate the shit out of me too.
Such is life.

I have poetry to post but cannot do so this second as I am at work and supposed to be "working"

Last night was badass as my feet were in zero pain and I felt like my feet were all tingly and such.

Yay.

So I will post tonight as a promise to my untold number of readers and to my lonesome old self.

yo.

Captain PirateFace

still not dead ya fucks!

I love the word 'Talapia"


mmmm fish

The Piano has been drinking.... not me.

Hey.

So, I know it's been a quick minuet since my last update but I have been very busy as of late. I just recently moved in with my good friend Laura who is also a teacher at my school. She's like a sister to me so it's been good so far. I haven't had a chance to hook up my computer so I am updating you now from my work computer. I have had a drain in my thoughts and have not been writing as regularly as usual which makes my chubby digits sad as the feel of the pen or the picking at the letters at the keyboard is a wee bit foreign lately. so a quick story:
Last Tuesday after picking up Gabriel I saw road rage at it's finest. There was two mexican gangsters guys in a car that was taking up two lanes and this red truck behind them was edging forward and the dude was laying on his horn. But what makes this story special is that the crazy horn fella in the bright red truck was wearing a red shirt and was the spitting image of Santa Claus himself. The gangsters moved forward and Santa pulled up next to them nearly scratching their car and started screaming at them. They responded by spitting at him through his open window. It got all over the door and in his beard. And what did our dear enraged Santa Do????
Started spitting massive loogies back at them!!! It had to be the unlikeliest of confrentations I have ever seen! A spitfest between Mexican Gangsters and Santa's Pissed off brother .

So to make a long story short... it was awesome!


Captain PirateFace

Keepin' it real since 1980 yo!

pain in me face

for a very sweet memorial by my good friend John for my good friend Daniel who recently passed away please check out....
http://www.100wattproductions.com/

I got punched in the face yesterday too by the way...
I was very emotional after dropping my son off at Gina's.
I needed to talk to a friend and called him from a payphone.
As I was speaking to him I became more emotional and started crying.
(if you did not know I was a sissy...now ya do eh?)
A Mexican guy walked in the store near the end of my phone call.
When I had hung up the phone the same Mexican guy came walking out of the convenience store and laughed at me and pointed at me calling me a "little bitch".
My response... "Fuck Yourself".
He did not seem to see the humor I did in my response and walked over to me punching me in my right cheek. He then stood there waiting for me to fight back, I was too damn sad and tired to get arrested for beating a Mexican half to death so I just stood there and told him this. He walked away laughing and the clerk inside the store ran out yelling..."I got his plate number do you want me to call the cops??", I just said no and that I wanted to get home. so i did. The thing that pisses me off now is that I could have beat the living shit out of that short, sissy punch fuck... ih well.

lame eh?


goodnight rat bastards as I am falling asleep on these keys.

writing to come soon-ish

Captain PirateFace









































































p.s.

i like your mom

sailing these seas of cheese (thanks Primus)

So.

Today I took my son to the Calico Basin and to Bonnie Springs.
My son is badass... we took a hike up a high trail that leads up and over a mountain and then down into a wash... he conquered that shit like he had done it a hundred times before. And when we ran out of trail he wanted to keep hiking until we got to the "Dark Mountain", a mountain being covered in rain. I had to tell him no and he was pissed. Bonnie Springs is depressing and everything is fucking broke... and they charge you $20 to get in...ripoff. The only good thing was watching this all black chicken hanging off the edge off a tin roof that hung near the petting zoo trail sweat people, especially teenagers as they walked buy. He sweat the shit out of me too it was funny as hell. Oh buy the way we found out that my Dad was wrongfully diagnosed with Hepatitis C...thank God. Other then that the day was OK. The outlying mountains near Red Rock are amazingly beautiful especially on a rainy day.

On a more somber note...

My friend Daniels funeral was very sad and I had a hard time keeping composure, especially after seeing him in his coffin for the first time.
and that's all I really want to say about that.


Captain PirateFace

so......FUCKASS!

My friend Daniel passed away recently due to heart failure and his funeral is on Friday.
I will be attending and it will be very hard.

If you do not know me well you better stay away from me that day.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Not much thought processing today... kinda in retard mode (sorry retards!)
I have been thinking a whole lot about Hunter S. Thompson...
And even though he decided to kill himself and take his own exit I kinda want to
re-assembel his cannon blasted ashes and punch him repeatedly in the face for
giving up on this strange and cursed world we live in.
I dare you to read anything by the man and not find one quote you will either believe in,
fall in love with or laugh at. He was a selfish brilliant asshole and even though I never
got to meet him and mingle our different kinds of insanity together I miss him dearly.

What a fuckass.

I can't even open this face up enough to give you the poison pulsating and belching from my brain. I can't make you understand the strange rabid dog thoughts I posess and cry to and jerk off to. I can't make you see me as I really am as I am a liar and a master of disguise and I am sorry for that my true and trusted friends. I am so sorry.

Captain PirateFace

Broken Teeth, Soft Embraces, Family ilness... And I thought I could laugh it all off... what a fucking riot.

One of my top right back teeth is broken in half and the nerve is exposed.
Yeeehaw!
Also,
One of my bottom left back teeth is also broken in half and the nerve is also exposed.
2 FOR ONE DEAL YO!
Anybody want to send me pain meds? I will "not" say no.

anywho.

My Dad found out the other day that he has Hepatitis C. My Dad is a pessimist as I am.
He has himself dead and buried which isn't good for him or my mother and the stress is causing angry outbursts and fights in the house so I take drives wherever I can go to escape the craziness.

I love my parents and want to help them but all I know to do right now is just give support.
It just seems life shits on my family on a daily basis is all.

On the side of sweetness and tenderness...
I just can't seem to take in that not all people think I am a horrible, lowlife loser deformed troll of a man like I do. It's hard for me to take compliments and I have a hard time accepting the love people try and give me. I usually throw my insanity at any kind of love and that disease infects the people that love me and they retreat. As it did my soon to be Ex-Wife.

I just can't seem to wrap my head around it.

Speaking of "CRAZY".
My moods are becoming more erratic lately. While driving on the freeway the other afternoon I was caught in traffic and started singing along to the Weezer song "Dreaming". I felt compelled to pour my bottle of water over my head drenching me and my cloths and my driver side interior.
Then after wildly singing along and rarely keeping my hands on the wheel I decided it was a fine time to take off my shirt and drive shirtless and wet with the windows rolled down singing along to Weezer's "Dreaming" over and over again. I felt like I was watching a person take over my body as if my actions were not my own. I felt happy but in a way that just didn't seem right.
Afterwards I went home and crashed into a deep depression and fell asleep very, very early.
I just don't know what is going on with me anymore.

I need to find a new therapist.
(know any good ones in the Las Vegas area folks??? Ones that may be able to deal with my personality type???)

I also am going to be trying out Anti-Depressants again as I think it couldn't do any harm.
could it?

So what of any good news eh?
I get to see my little man today which is a day early. I miss the hell out of him. Gina thinks I am out playing every day while the reality of the situation is I can't hear her phone calls from the dungeon of a downstairs in my mother's house. She thinks I ignore my son when he wants to talk to me around bed time but that's just not true. I miss my son like I would miss the sound of my heart beating. Sometimes she fails to see that her leaving me didn't just fuck her up. It tore my life apart and my son's as well. I don't hate her for wanting to have left me. That was her decision. I will not go into detail but I will say that it's what she felt she needed to do and sometimes... about half the time I agree with why she left and believe most of the reasons she gives to be true. But sometimes I don't and think she made a mistake that someday she will come to regret.
But I give myself that right to think in two separate thought patterns... I am crazy aren't I?

I have a grip of more poetry to post but just haven't had the strength or patience to do just that. But I will soon and it won't be one of those... "I will post TONIGHT!" and two weeks later you get an "Awe Shucks, I forgot to post and will really do it tonight." and then space that altogether.
Are any of you actually reading this blog and my poetry? Who the Hell knows as NOBODY barely ever leaves me comments or sends me any kind of contact. So I might just be posting for Sherrie and Ben and myself as I love to read old entries and say "What the Fuck is wrong with me? Why the fuck would I post this shitty shit shit?"

So I will try again out of hopeless desperation to connect with any of my fictional readers.
(I mean fuck all my counter keeps going up pretty often? Is it because the word "Pornography" is in the title?)

Please feel free to leave a comment fuck-o's and please feel free to contact me through e-mail at CaptPirateFace@aol.com



see ya later salamander.

Captain PirateFace


P.S. Oh yeah! I am not quite as much a fat fuck anymore. I went from last June weighing 310 lbs
(I am 6'3 gimme a little bit here ya snickering fucks) to the comfy weight of 255 lbs. And I am losing more hopefully by the day. My weight loss plan... LOTS OF FUCKING STRESS! It really works folks... don't knock that shit until you try it. Also quitting soda for the most part and just drinking water. No more booze. (Still haven't kicked the pain meds yet but I do have a legitimate injury... yeah I know sometimes I run out before it's time... shut up) And small meals (no over eating... just because the breakfast came with huge ass pancakes doesn't mean you HAVE to gobble them down if your already feeling full.)