But Captain... Don't you know that it's insane!?!?!?

Hello big ol' world.

How the fuck you been?

i like the word "fuck"...

fuck fucker fuckity fuck fuck.

now i feel much better.

and we begin.....

So... i am "trying" to not be a moody bastard all the time. "Trying" being the key word.

and have been failing miserably the last few days. Sometimes it's hard to fabricate forced feelings...

you know what i mean?

you know i really thought she might call me on my birthday... stupid right?

Rats

got caught up in my dramatics again.

self brought on neurosis.

not even knowing who i am in the morning.

trying to hold back laughter and tears

just stay quiet stupid...

maybe they won't notice you.

i used to smile...

 Into open arms we gladly fall...

i couldn't create her...

i couldn't open up the heavens and snatch her away.
i couldn't know her...
i would never know the sweet taste of her kiss.
the gentle touch of her hand
the soft touch of her skin...
this non-existent fantasy girl.
she lurks about in the back of my mind..
one big tease.
Smiling and waving from a distance i could never travel..

never survive.
i hope she has something that torment's
her near as much as she torments my mind

Love was made. Hate was Born. Loneliness.... their shitty little child.

pain in the very words that detail my soul

i look at you all
in the big, big world. 

ignoring each other.

ignoring everything.
we yearn for those same things...
a hand to hold, comfort, love and all that bullshit.
but we all end up standing in the rain with our mouths and hands wide open...
waiting for the rain... drowning in the rain...
waiting for what we were all promised from the time we were children..

that the good guys will win.
that love is forever.
that growing up won't be so damn bad.

we are still waiting, still being deceived, still praying for rain.
meanwhile my silly little soul is trapped out in the desert...
aimless and wandering and wandering. 

     are we winning? and if so... how do you know?

   i keep crossing finish lines with no waiting crowd gathered.
 i keep conquering the mountain and nobody cares.

    are we winning? 

Building up the hearts and knocking them down

Our wounds collected and festering.
Candy hearts and shitty poetry,
Our sympathy and pain spread out onto the world
through technology and loneliness.
Our hearts and minds changed by passing tides.
Our souls in constant jeopardy of some angry passing God.
Beached wales and coma kids.
The arrow after it has been ripped from pierced flesh...
dripping with blood.

 "They seem wild but they are so tame" -Arcade Fire- "Rococo" 

we are not alone. we number in the millions. we control more than you know or would like. we work with your children. we take out your garbage. don't discount the insane.... it's the way of the future baby!

Love, Captain PirateFace

P.S. A Poem by my amazing little boy... Gabriel

I like the World

I like grass and trees and places.
I like the Earth and mountains and rocks...

these make "happy".

-Gabriel-