there is no fear here
Friday, January 28, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
and i search for you in every passing car
This next First Friday (2-4-11) will be my Ex-Wife's art show. Her work is amazing and only get's better with time. And though I know she does not read this blog, and for that I am sure we are both thankful, I have to say how incredibly proud of her I am with what she has done as an artist. Running a gallery, being an artist and an artist advocate is tough work... then throw my son on the pile.. phew. Please try and attend if you live in the Las Vegas area, she deserves the crowd, and people deserve to see her work. Click on the picture below to check out the details of the event:
The Immaculate Perception -
A new body of work by Gina Quaranto
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The Immaculate Perception -
A new body of work by Gina Quaranto
and that's all i have to say about that.
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Speaking of Ex's... My buddy Brandon told me a week later that we almost had a run in with my ex. Apparently she was behind us in traffic and could clearly see Brandon, Jeremy and i. In his wisdom (and i thank Christ he did this) he didn't say a word about it. Thank Jebus. I would have been dodging my 6'3 ass to the floor of the car (no little feat). But it proves my point to Brandon. Alway's watch your back in Henderson John Robison... You may coincidently run into her, and shit... it's hard enough already seeing old photographs... I really don't wan't to and can't see her face to face. It would be terribly hard and gut wrenching. As Arcade Fire sang in "Suburban War":
Let’s go for a drive and see the town tonight
There’s nothing to do but I don’t mind when I’m with you
This town’s so strange they built it to change
And while we sleep we know the streets get rearranged
With my old friends it was so different then
Before your war against the suburbs began
Before it began
Now the music divides us into tribes
You grew your hair so I grew mine
You said the past won’t rest
Until we jump the fence and leave it behind
With my old friends I can remember when
You cut your hair, I never saw you again
Now the cities we live in could be distant stars
And I search for you in every passing car
The night’s so long
Yeah the night’s so long
I’ve been living in the shadows of your song
Been living in the shadows of your song
In the suburbs I, I learned to drive
And you told me we would never survive,
So grab your mother’s keys we leave tonight
But you started a war that we can’t win
They keep erasing all the streets we grew up in
Now the music divides us into tribes
You choose your side, I’ll choose my side
All my old friends they don’t know me now
All my old friends are staring through me now
All my old friends they don’t know me now
All my old friends they don’t know me now
They don’t know me now
All my old friends, wait…
There’s nothing to do but I don’t mind when I’m with you
This town’s so strange they built it to change
And while we sleep we know the streets get rearranged
With my old friends it was so different then
Before your war against the suburbs began
Before it began
Now the music divides us into tribes
You grew your hair so I grew mine
You said the past won’t rest
Until we jump the fence and leave it behind
With my old friends I can remember when
You cut your hair, I never saw you again
Now the cities we live in could be distant stars
And I search for you in every passing car
The night’s so long
Yeah the night’s so long
I’ve been living in the shadows of your song
Been living in the shadows of your song
In the suburbs I, I learned to drive
And you told me we would never survive,
So grab your mother’s keys we leave tonight
But you started a war that we can’t win
They keep erasing all the streets we grew up in
Now the music divides us into tribes
You choose your side, I’ll choose my side
All my old friends they don’t know me now
All my old friends are staring through me now
All my old friends they don’t know me now
All my old friends they don’t know me now
They don’t know me now
All my old friends, wait…
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Jeremy is sick. Go tell him to feel "intensely" better. He has broke off regular contact to heal.
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and as terribly lame as it sounds, i have been carrying around my annual review for two weeks because i have never gotten "exceeds standards" before on my annual review, always just "satisfactory". In the almost 9 years I have been in the school district. yay me.
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and as terribly lame as it sounds, i have been carrying around my annual review for two weeks because i have never gotten "exceeds standards" before on my annual review, always just "satisfactory". In the almost 9 years I have been in the school district. yay me.
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and I leave you with an oldie....
Afternoon
Brownies melting in my pocket on a spring day,
Me and the kid looking out over water runoff from the water treatment plant,
Me and the kid looking out over water runoff from the water treatment plant,
from and iron and concrete bridge.
The kid spits out over the water while we both stand motionless...
The kid spits out over the water while we both stand motionless...
taking in the sound of rushing water and screeching birds.
We smile at each other.
We smile at each other.
Our bellies full of peanut butter and jelly..
and crunchy taco's.
It's almost good enough to be perfect
It's almost good enough to be perfect
and it is.
For Gabriel
Have a great day... i know i will... IT'S FUCKING PAYDAY!!!!!!!
Love,
Captain
PirateFace
all i want is somebody to love.
Monday, January 24, 2011
and we can't pretend to be an happy asshole everyday now can we?
So, I woke up mean.
I have been keeping myself pretty calm. but all in all i have no patience. i feel like dogshit, i don't want to be here, i don't want to go home, if it's at all possible, i would rather be nowhere.
I hope they feed your mean ass
dog food in hell.
Cuz cat food would be too damn good!!!!!
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Just a feeling
I held on to the moment as long as I could.
She didn't.
nowadays I wander the city quietly looking for the next foolish girl to fall in love with me.
but never say a word.
And each night after the sun set's, I sit alone trying to wish away the details of her face.
Beauty can be such a horrible reminder.
Luckily most of my mirror's are broke.
Captain PirateFace
I have been keeping myself pretty calm. but all in all i have no patience. i feel like dogshit, i don't want to be here, i don't want to go home, if it's at all possible, i would rather be nowhere.
I hope they feed your mean ass
dog food in hell.
Cuz cat food would be too damn good!!!!!
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Just a feeling
I held on to the moment as long as I could.
She didn't.
nowadays I wander the city quietly looking for the next foolish girl to fall in love with me.
but never say a word.
And each night after the sun set's, I sit alone trying to wish away the details of her face.
Beauty can be such a horrible reminder.
Luckily most of my mirror's are broke.
Captain PirateFace
Saturday, January 22, 2011
and saturday marches on
Thursday, January 20, 2011
So... Ye Be A Doubter Do Ye?
Hello my people.If you are interested i have been writing a slew lately and plan to post some... soonish....
but for now here are some oldies, not so sure if the classify as "Goodies" as well, hmm? I guess we shall see...
Falling away
Like Alice on her decent to Wonderland we slowly fall.
Focusing on the pictures in the picture frame.
Smiling faces long gone and no longer grinning…
Makes me lay them face down…
I can’t bear to see them so happy.
And, Their eyes seem to follow me around the room as if to say
“It’s ok to smile still kiddo.”
So I lay back on a comfortable bed and listen to the silence.
Half asleep I daydream about you.
And you can’t stop that.
You cannot command away my memory.
How long can this faded photo in my mind last anyway?
When it was me you would smile at…
no camera, no forced smile…
Just a natural smile all glowing and real for me.
Like Alice on her decent to Wonderland we slowly fall.
Focusing on the pictures in the picture frame.
Smiling faces long gone and no longer grinning…
Makes me lay them face down…
I can’t bear to see them so happy.
And, Their eyes seem to follow me around the room as if to say
“It’s ok to smile still kiddo.”
So I lay back on a comfortable bed and listen to the silence.
Half asleep I daydream about you.
And you can’t stop that.
You cannot command away my memory.
How long can this faded photo in my mind last anyway?
When it was me you would smile at…
no camera, no forced smile…
Just a natural smile all glowing and real for me.
And he shot me dead.
I know this kid,
This devil of an angel…
This sweet faced terror who gives out the warmest hugs and vicious bites.
My little boy, Gabriel.
My son.
My only fan and truest friend.
Maybe it’s because he doesn’t know any better…
Like my wife says.
But I like to think he does.
It’s nice to be somebody’s buddy and best pal.
He makes the repetitious visits to the Natural History Museum always seem new and exciting,Even though we go at least once a week.
And it’s moments like now that I miss him the most.
I know this kid,
This devil of an angel…
This sweet faced terror who gives out the warmest hugs and vicious bites.
My little boy, Gabriel.
My son.
My only fan and truest friend.
Maybe it’s because he doesn’t know any better…
Like my wife says.
But I like to think he does.
It’s nice to be somebody’s buddy and best pal.
He makes the repetitious visits to the Natural History Museum always seem new and exciting,Even though we go at least once a week.
And it’s moments like now that I miss him the most.
The clouds looked amazing today
Momentarily, I forgot all the trouble in my head.
I looked up and saw a penetrating blue sky with the occasional dark cloud floating along.
The wind was gentle and cool.
The clouds looked like handguns and ships from “Star Wars: Episode IV, A New Hope”.
And the low background chatter seemed to drop away if only for seconds while my mind lifted up with those beautiful clouds in that blue painted sky.
I felt like I was floating and realized I was humming a cover song by Cat Power.
I guess reality shifted again and my mind came crashing down reminding me how fragile I had become.
And as I walked back into the building I felt a tinge of sadness sneak up in my throat,
like I had been unplugged…
Disconnected.
I think that’s how most things end for me, a little sad, a little like being unplugged.
Sounds like me.
“Come with me, my love… to the sea, the sea of love….”
Momentarily, I forgot all the trouble in my head.
I looked up and saw a penetrating blue sky with the occasional dark cloud floating along.
The wind was gentle and cool.
The clouds looked like handguns and ships from “Star Wars: Episode IV, A New Hope”.
And the low background chatter seemed to drop away if only for seconds while my mind lifted up with those beautiful clouds in that blue painted sky.
I felt like I was floating and realized I was humming a cover song by Cat Power.
I guess reality shifted again and my mind came crashing down reminding me how fragile I had become.
And as I walked back into the building I felt a tinge of sadness sneak up in my throat,
like I had been unplugged…
Disconnected.
I think that’s how most things end for me, a little sad, a little like being unplugged.
Sounds like me.
“Come with me, my love… to the sea, the sea of love….”
Phantom horse head looking straight through my guts and into my sublime future.
Big white eyes swirling with dark storm clouds and grey dead skin.
Love notes in my mailbox addressed to no one in particular
heavy with the weight of heavy words.
My smile is so fake I wonder to myself when trying it out if it’s noticeable?
My pillow has become ragged and torn from the constant hugging while I lay alone in a spare room on a spare bed with my spare heart where the good one used to be.
Unfortunately there is no Wizard of OZ in these here parts.
No Miracle Men or Women.
Prayers are answered by a mute silence that almost makes the hearing fear that they have become deaf.
Not me though, I am deaf and dumb.
I am the worst pirate who ever lived.
Though, I can still give a hearty pirate laugh… given the circumstances.
I think to myself I am just a kid…
Just learning how to get through life…
And then remember I am almost thirty.
A long time since the word “kid” could apply to me.
I don’t laugh near as much as I used to and really only have myself to blame.
I wrap my dead body in a sheet and toss it off a cliff in Red Rock Canyon,
Throwing back my head and laughing maniacally…
But suddenly stop, remembering that the car keys were in my pocketnow at the bottom of the cliff with my broken dead body.
It will be a long walk home I guess… It always is.This sun has given it's last sunset, as it falls down dead...
crashing in a cold bottomless ocean.
How many bottles have I tossed out into this dark and brooding sea?
How many have crashed against some bit of rock and sunk my messages to the bottom of the ocean?
Do the fish read my letters?
Do they share my concerns?
Do my letters make them cry?
Now it's dark.
It feels like the sun, on it's last glorious setting committed suicide and plunged itself into
the icy depths of salt water.
Bringing it's shining corpse to the bottom... littered with crabs, broken bottles and pathetic sad love letters written by yours truly.
But it's all make believe isn't it?
The sun will rise again, far away from the ocean, the clouds and this planet.
I can't even send my messages in bottles.
I have no ocean.
I have a desert eating up all the color that surrounds the neon city I call home.
I can crumple up a paper with something scrawled across it's body and let the desert wind pull it slowly from my hands.
Blowing away on heated air current.
Nobody picks up the garbage in this town...
it just tumbles on and on until it ends up stuck to some metal fence surrounding another piece of desert landscape...
crinkling up under the blazing hot sun that will never set into a rolling ocean.
Not in this place.
I keep my secret messages to myself these days.
Maybe one day my dreams will be realized.
Maybe one day these messages will float along lazily with the oceans current while I watch a blazing hot sun retreat beneath cool, clear waves.
I have the perfect letter set aside for that very day.
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ahem..
so on with other thing's....
Just a Fragment of the Amazing show I saw on the night of January 13th at Blackbird Studios
of the truly talented and amazing Jason Webley ... enjoy....
and the performance that opened my eyes to how awesome his music is...
Have an excellent day you slimy bastards!
Love,
Captain PirateFace
Friday, January 14, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
so...
First Friday was... crowded.
I had my first painting ever hung in a gallery this Friday... not with permission but hey! you do what you gotta do right? My painting titled "How are we feeling today?" and is proudly hanging next to the upstairs bathroom at the Art's Factory. More painting's and poem's in random locations to come... Join my ART group page for more shenanigan's to follow... ----- > click here!
Love,
Captain PirateFace
P.S. hOw wOulD yOu LiKe SuM MuZaK
Oh so sad muzak....
MzakFoFreeeeeee? Yepperino!
Do you like music? < ------- click that for a treat!
Do you like a slew of music? < ------- clickity clack!
Howsabout sad, whiny music? < ------ clickity clack!
First Friday was... crowded.
I had my first painting ever hung in a gallery this Friday... not with permission but hey! you do what you gotta do right? My painting titled "How are we feeling today?" and is proudly hanging next to the upstairs bathroom at the Art's Factory. More painting's and poem's in random locations to come... Join my ART group page for more shenanigan's to follow... ----- > click here!
Love,
Captain PirateFace
P.S. hOw wOulD yOu LiKe SuM MuZaK
Oh so sad muzak....
MzakFoFreeeeeee? Yepperino!
Do you like music? < ------- click that for a treat!
Do you like a slew of music? < ------- clickity clack!
Howsabout sad, whiny music? < ------ clickity clack!
Just enjoy! < ------ clickity clack!
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
Gangster flow.
Been in my tombs again. (caution) .
Stuck in a rut with my big fucking nut's!
Bringing the heat like some tasty meat.
You got no game when you step on my field.
Gonna make my fist your last solid meal.
I once punchd a nun in the face on the run.
She prayed real loud but god was havin none.
So watch what you say when you look in my eyes.
I make real O.G.'s weep.
I make hard niggas cry.
So i wave goodbye as the sun starts to set.
And i bow out respectively..
Cool as ice and more than fuckin' set.
Peace.
teehee ;)
luv-Capn'PirateFace
Stuck in a rut with my big fucking nut's!
Bringing the heat like some tasty meat.
You got no game when you step on my field.
Gonna make my fist your last solid meal.
I once punchd a nun in the face on the run.
She prayed real loud but god was havin none.
So watch what you say when you look in my eyes.
I make real O.G.'s weep.
I make hard niggas cry.
So i wave goodbye as the sun starts to set.
And i bow out respectively..
Cool as ice and more than fuckin' set.
Peace.
teehee ;)
luv-Capn'PirateFace
Monday, January 03, 2011
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How can you save me when you can't save yourself?
"nothing can save
you
except
writing.
it keeps the walls
from
failing."
— Charles Bukowski
you
except
writing.
it keeps the walls
from
failing."
— Charles Bukowski