So... Ye Be A Doubter Do Ye?

Hello my people.If you are interested i have been writing a slew lately and plan to post some... soonish....

but for now here are some oldies, not so sure if the classify as "Goodies" as well, hmm? I guess we shall see...

Falling away 

Like Alice on her decent to Wonderland we slowly fall. 
Focusing on the pictures in the picture frame.
Smiling faces long gone and no longer grinning… 
Makes me lay them face down… 
I can’t bear to see them so happy.
And, Their eyes seem to follow me around the room as if to say 
“It’s ok to smile still kiddo.” 
So I lay back on a comfortable bed and listen to the silence.
Half asleep I daydream about you. 
And you can’t stop that. 
You cannot command away my memory. 
How long can this faded photo in my mind last anyway? 
When it was me you would smile at… 
no camera, no forced smile… 
Just a natural smile all glowing and real for me.

And he shot me dead. 

I know this kid, 
This devil of an angel… 
This sweet faced terror who gives out the warmest hugs and vicious bites. 
My little boy, Gabriel.
My son.
My only fan and truest friend. 
Maybe it’s because he doesn’t know any better…
Like my wife says. 
But I like to think he does. 
It’s nice to be somebody’s buddy and best pal. 
He makes the repetitious visits to the Natural History Museum always seem new and exciting,Even though we go at least once a week.
And it’s moments like now that I miss him the most.

The clouds looked amazing today 

Momentarily, I forgot all the trouble in my head. 
I looked up and saw a penetrating blue sky with the occasional dark cloud floating along. 
The wind was gentle and cool. 
The clouds looked like handguns and ships from “Star Wars: Episode IV, A New Hope”.
And the low background chatter seemed to drop away if only for seconds while my mind lifted up with those beautiful clouds in that blue painted sky.
I felt like I was floating and realized I was humming a cover song by Cat Power. 
I guess reality shifted again and my mind came crashing down reminding me how fragile I had become. 
And as I walked back into the building I felt a tinge of sadness sneak up in my throat,
like I had been unplugged…
Disconnected. 

I think that’s how most things end for me, a little sad, a little like being unplugged. 
Sounds like me. 

“Come with me, my love… to the sea, the sea of love….”

 So many places to be and nobody wants you there. 

Phantom horse head looking straight through my guts and into my sublime future.
Big white eyes swirling with dark storm clouds and grey dead skin.
Love notes in my mailbox addressed to no one in particular
heavy with the weight of heavy words. 
My smile is so fake I wonder to myself when trying it out if it’s noticeable?
My pillow has become ragged and torn from the constant hugging while I lay alone in a spare room on a spare bed with my spare heart where the good one used to be.
Unfortunately there is no Wizard of OZ in these here parts. 
No Miracle Men or Women. 
Prayers are answered by a mute silence that almost makes the hearing fear that they have become deaf. 
Not me though, I am deaf and dumb. 
I am the worst pirate who ever lived.
Though, I can still give a hearty pirate laugh… given the circumstances.
I think to myself I am just a kid… 
Just learning how to get through life…
And then remember I am almost thirty. 
A long time since the word “kid” could apply to me. 
I don’t laugh near as much as I used to and really only have myself to blame. 
I wrap my dead body in a sheet and toss it off a cliff in Red Rock Canyon, 
Throwing back my head and laughing maniacally… 
But suddenly stop, remembering that the car keys were in my pocketnow at the bottom of the cliff with my broken dead body. 

It will be a long walk home I guess… It always is.

This sun has given it's last sunset, as it falls down dead...
crashing in a cold bottomless ocean.

How many bottles have I tossed out into this dark and brooding sea?
How many have crashed against some bit of rock and sunk my messages to the bottom of the ocean?
Do the fish read my letters?
Do they share my concerns?
Do my letters make them cry?

Now it's dark.
It feels like the sun, on it's last glorious setting committed suicide and plunged itself into
the icy depths of salt water.
Bringing it's shining corpse to the bottom... littered with crabs, broken bottles and pathetic sad love letters written by yours truly.

But it's all make believe isn't it?
The sun will rise again, far away from the ocean, the clouds and this planet.
I can't even send my messages in bottles.
I have no ocean.
I have a desert eating up all the color that surrounds the neon city I call home.
I can crumple up a paper with something scrawled across it's body and let the desert wind pull it slowly from my hands.
Blowing away on heated air current.

Nobody picks up the garbage in this town...
it just tumbles on and on until it ends up stuck to some metal fence surrounding another piece of desert landscape...
crinkling up under the blazing hot sun that will never set into a rolling ocean.

Not in this place.

I keep my secret messages to myself these days.
Maybe one day my dreams will be realized.
Maybe one day these messages will float along lazily with the oceans current while I watch a blazing hot sun retreat beneath cool, clear waves.

I have the perfect letter set aside for that very day.
___________________________________________________






ahem..


so on with other thing's....



Just a Fragment of the Amazing show I saw on the night of January 13th at Blackbird Studios
of the truly talented and amazing Jason Webley ... enjoy....

and the performance that opened my eyes to how awesome his music is...

Have an excellent day you slimy bastards!

Love,

Captain PirateFace