My horror story so far... AKA "It's a wonderful life!"

Captain PirateFace.... Hot Dawg is he the luckiest dude alive!

Let me bring you back a few days, last Wednesday to be exact.
I was driving to work. I entered the 95 heading south on the Flamingo and 95 entrance.
I was going roughly 30-35, the posted speed is 25 mph. As I took the first sharp turn I could feel the traction under my tires start to slip (like I hit a soft patch of road or water/ice) The car began to swerve and I tried to gain control but could not and smashed nearly head on (slightly more tot he left) into a wall. I get out of the car and have blood all over my mouth and face, as I bit my tongue open in 4 places and had yet to realize this. I tried to flag down drivers walking back towards the entrance tot he freeway about 500 feet away.

no one would stop to help me.

Finally somebody thought it would be nice to call 911 and report my accident (without stopping of course). The first person to respond was that free service that helps stranded motorists on the freeway, the name escapes me but the guy was very nice as the cops who arrived shortly after were assholes. One cop asked me if I wrecked because I was reaching for a cheeseburger. I thought... "Sweet, I fucked up my car... I am bleeding... in pain.... and this douche is making fat jokes.... AWESOME!". The police, EMT' and Freeway service guy all did agree though that if I had not been wearing my seat belt and had air bags I would have been dead or seriously injured. So after getting away from the beginning of my nightmare I end up heading to the Dr. the same day and find out I bruised my ribs severely along with my clavicle, left shoulder and have whiplash in my neck... but can't really complain though as I am not dead.

Fast forward today....
Insurance deems the car a "Total" and feels that the repair cost would be astronomical compared to paying out what the car is worth. My shitty Hyundai Elantra is worth a total of $5000 and change (according to ins.) According to my lender, Wells Fargo Auto... We still owe $10,000 and change. So, now I have no car that I will still have to pay $5000 off.

Fuck

me.


So, Suffice to say I am fucking sad. If anyone wants to donate to the "Help Captain PirateFace payoff his fucked battleship" fund I am excepting the donations as I cannot sink any lower than I currently feel. Oh yeah, I am also still in pain... yay for me.
A way to truly help is to buy my random shit I have been putting up on E-Bay under the seller name Captpirateface (of course) I have been selling a few things from my personal collection. Which hurts but is necessary when you are a broke ass loser trying to take care of a family.


On a good note...
Frank "DepecheModeIsNotGay" Cadden... Gina "ArtByGina" Quaranto (the lady who married the loser Captain PirateFace) and myself saw "GRINDHOUSE"
Fucking Awesome....
so worth every penny we scrounged.
I am not gonna tell you jack about the movies... just go see them.


And lastly. before I get into the "poetry" aspect of this blog, I have been listening to a leaked copy of an upcoming album the last couple days....
Nine Inch Nails "Year Zero"....
Let me just say, the best two albums of this whole lousy fucked year have to be this and the Arcade Fire's "Neon Bible". "Year Zero" is pure digital trauma... intense and gritty, crisp and beautifully sung and a great part one to a two album odyssey into a very dark and scary future.
It comes out April 17th 2007 (The day after my 27th birthday) Do yourself a favor and buy it that very day... even with a leaked copy I will be first in line... even with all the $$$ drama I can't "Not" support one of the best damn bands on the planet.



On with the terror of my DOOM writing...




She saw the beaten down tired dog of a man I hide beneath this rough exterior

She saw the sad sleepless eyes behind this stone gaze.
The wounded animal hidden under all this wounded man routine.
Did not feel that I had to be put down.
That this "old dog" could still learn a few "mew tricks".
We ended up disappointing each other.
As people do.

One thing though...
she did feed well and always scratched behind the ears.

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a valid point of view

I took the beaten path and continued on with the beatings.
the moon tonight shines bright and cruel ruining the only time to hide this horrible face.
Jesus came to me the other day and told me that self medicating wasn't the answer to my problems... I wiped the tears from my eyes and smiled at him saying..
"What the Hell do you know?"
the touch is getting colder.
the funds are running out.
the courage is dwindling.
Oh God, I was built to sensitive for this hard ass world.
I was made to stupid and too sad.
I should have been put down like the runt.
I am putting on my "soul baring" shoes to help carry this body.
I am getting thick armor ready and sharpening my clever wit and negotiation skills.
I am getting the jokes ready to throw out into the serious situations...
For when the atom bombs drop and for when the wife finally says...
"enough... I can't take this anymore."
I crack open this pen and drink away the fine black liquid clutching my throat smiling.
As the words spill out of my mouth and run the gutters bloody red, dripping into sewers with the aborted Harlequin babies and albino alligators.
Pricking up their ears listening for my poetry wondering aloud...
"Who the hell does this maniac think he is?"

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When we die I hope we get the chance to duke it out proper
at the pearly gates in front of St. Peter

When her words finally shoot me dead and
some diseased mother finally burns you out of existence...
I hope we go at the same time.
I will walk with you through the afterlife and to the pearly gates...
so that when we both get the bad news that we can't come in, it wont be so bad...
(as it would be without a buddy)
Fists will fly and blood will let.
As this will help us get rid of the upsetting news.
Knocking over the heavenly potted plants and destroying the gardens,
you know? ....the knock off of Disneyland's.
And God will give out a yell and all the saved souls will have to get away from the gate and stop enjoying the dramatic scene.
Best entertainment in forever they say.

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My suggestion box.

I should have walked away.
Lifting up the skin and bone and muscle to reveal the soft pink brain.
This suggestion box had become full.
I scooped out as much as I could...
Promising myself not to look.
And lied.
The way I ought to be broke my heart.
The way I wasn't living life accordingly to what other people think.
So I reached down the throat and pushed through the guts and little pieces of rotten soul...
grabbing that broken heart.
Throwing it onto the floor as it gave a few final ticks..
Finally stopping, finally dead.
I give a faint smile...
at least that part is over with

and collapse to the ground.

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conundrum

I am tired but don't want to sleep because I don't want to die.
Trading places with alternate versions of myself with shittier lives and existences.
I climb into the bed with electricity shut down.
Pull the covers up to my neck and listen to the faint wind in the tree's.
Listening to the rain land softly in tiny aquatic explosions on any and everything.
I may be a poor idiot but can smile like a brilliant rich man enjoying this moment.
Bu one day will get tired of holding this pose.

____________________________________________________________________


better treatment in death...

buried in your best suite.
in a coffin much nicer than your vehicle.
hair styled and even some touch up.
people say nice things about you...
some cry.
Sounds like bullshit to me.

____________________________________________________________________

the wrong side of the tracks.

people get robbed here.
my tongue is numb and I scrape off dead cells.
Robbing myself the flavor of life.
I am just going to lay down here with my bruises exposed and wallet open.
lessening the chances of having my heart broken and stolen...
again and again.


Thank you all for bearing with your dear ol' Captain Pirateface...

Goodnight.