wtf?

i am sooooo

over dramatic.

ever get the feeling you are being watched by complete strangers?

wink wink





captain pirateface

.....

.this all fucking sucks.

I am not a great man but I don't deserve to live in a daily living hell.


I can't stop crying anymore.

can't sleep

feel like shit, sad and can't sleep.

it's 5:42am



captain pirateface

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

i know who i am...
who the hell am i again?

i know that i beg at moons for some kind of amazing answer.
and find god staring down at me with a shit eating grin and the moon wedged gently between his ass.
i know i feel like tearing apart living things and weeping sadly at their very sad demise.
i know that i left my parachute in the plain when when i fucking jumped.
and now the beautiful earth is rushing up at me waiting to lick and taste my fresh splattered guts that shot out of my ass.
i can't eat.
i can't sleep.
i will only nightmare and night terror.
thrash in my sleep like one possessed until my heart finally breaks for the last time....
again.








when will i smile again?
fuck if i know and stop asking.

thank you for tearing out my insides and leaving me here
with this stupid ass look on my face shaking my head and my tears to the ground in giant ant drowning puddles.
my feelings have been not hurt but killed.
i still love you
and i hope you know that.
still loving all the others but you more than any other.
i hope your loneliness drives you to find me again.

nobody home

glass

I used to be sharp.
A teeny bit quick witted.
like
glass.
Now,
I have been
dulled down
soft
by the restless ocean waves.
I am drowning and there is no one there to save me.
Oh God I am scared.
alone.
stupid.
I can already feel the steel in my heart.
killing me.
breaking me
like glass.

running up that hill

"Running up that hill"
By Kate Bush and Amazingly covered by Placebo


It doesn't hurt me.
You wanna feel how it feels?
You wanna know, know that it doesn't hurt me?
You wanna hear about the deal I'm making?
You be running up that hill
You and me be running up that hill

And if I only could,
Make a deal with God,
And get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
Be running up that building.
If I only could, oh...

You don't wanna hurt me,
But see how deep the bullet lies.
Unaware that I'm tearing you asunder.
There's a thunder in our hearts, baby.
So much hate for the ones we love?
Tell me, we both matter, don't we?

You, be running up that hill
You and me, be running up that hill
You and me won't be unhappy.

And if I only could,
Make a deal with God,
And get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
Be running up that building,
If I only could, oh...

C'mon, baby, c'mon, c'mon, darling,
Let me steal this moment from you now.
C'mon, angel, c'mon, c'mon, darling,
Let's exchange the experience, oh...'

And if I only could,
Make a deal with God,
And get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
With no problems

'If I only could, be running up that hill.'











Dying inside,
Captain PirateFace

done

i will no longer be taking my depression meds.

i will no longer care about anything.

I give up and am done.




a pathetic Captain PirateFace

please re-post this all over the net.... pretty please!

>

ahhh the sound of silence.

Col. Kurtz
-The horror.... The horror...-



I find that most of the time I am surrounded by the shadiest of people in the shadiest of places. Yap.









dancing in the neon glow of sin city and it endless army of festering idiots.

I fear the masses eating at their buffet's and gambling their children's future away.
The heat and the grit and the dirt and the filth just clings onto you in the desert city of Las Vegas.
Our children find pure boredom in the 115 degree heat.
And take to pure horror show for enjoyment.
The days of ding dong ditch are over my friends.
Kermit the frog is irrelevant.
Our toys are all broken and bleached by the unforgiving sun.
I look out into the desert and imagine rolling blue waves of the California ocean.
Not a chance.
I am stuck here in hell.
The hell that spawned Wayne Newton and Star Wars slut machines.
And no that isn't a mistake... I did say "Slut" machines.
Sleep well world as I promise to sweat my balls off in my lonely small roomed apartment soon.




Luv

Captain PirateFace

A trip down memory lane.

Speaking like I am all dramatic and shit...
on a rainy day.

This was after my wife left me.

Come on Gina let's get this divorce stuff done yo!

BTW Bitchez

Battles is fooking amazing!


Also, I am on Twitter now (or as I like to call it...the fall of mankind)

Add me for my tweets, just look me up as CaptPirateFace


Peace Love and Herpes.

wait that ain't right.

It took the Death of Michael Jackson to lure me out...

So, first and foremost the "King of Pop" is dead.

sniffle.

sniffle.

boo-fucking-hoo.


I just can't get upset when a pedophile dies.
And probably died due to drug abuse.
(which if I am wrong... my bad... but he is still a dead pedophile.)












So how is all of my two or three readers doing these days.
I am right now without a summer job and scared as shit for my terrible money situation.

otherwise I will say for those close to me...
I have been living clean.

I have been drinking a little bit but hey nobody is perfect.


I have been thinking of giving up my writing of poetry.
I still write it now but have been thinking about what the point is anymore.
Nobody ever says "Hey, John write anything new lately?"
so fuck it.




You know who I am sad about dying?
Ed McMahon and Farrah Fawcett.
Those two were very talented and they didn't diddle kids either.








Man I miss writing, even when it's a short update.

Captain PirateFace













































these days that drag me down heart and soul

Bank has scooped away the car and the money is short.
I watch movies and music videos to kill the boredom.
I felt this sting before only this one is much worse.
painfully, I feel gutted these days.
trying to capture a youth gone sour and wild.
old man playing at being young and just being a fat ass embarrassment.
The pool get's empty late at night and I find I am swimming alone.
always swimming alone.



She cried and I played dead too damn long.

I got the casket nice and cheap
I didn't want to pay too much to fake my own death.
I got the mortician in on the plot to get rid of my fucking crazy girlfriend.
So I laid there in the coffin real still on the day of my funeral and she came up blubbering and sobbing.
I got so bored with the mess and fell asleep.
Next day I woke up to a cold small box and the worms dropping down through my shitty cheap coffin.
And I guess I must be really fucked then.
I mean hell...
I'm not the chick from "Kill Bill".





P.S.

I love this picture...
does it make me kinda gay?

cd's anybody?

Did a random placed cd bring you to this blog?

if so leave a comment and tell me what you think?

I go walkin' after midnight...

tonight.

red red wine.
laughter.
horror films.
food.
forgetting.
letting go.
taking in.
falling.
failing.

it's gonna be beautiful god damn it.


Love Captain PirateFace

I sit down when I pee

So I got life by the scroat.
booyaakashaw...

pimp daddy>?

the fall

Ministry
-The Fall-

Take this invitation
Bishops queen to pawn
All of us were taken
All that was is gone
Of this information
Shames us one and all
Wheres my compensation?
Watching others fall
Welcome to the fall
Everything is useless
Nothing works at all
Nothing ever matters
Welcome to the fall

morning quote for thursday fucking morning

Enjoy your day you mad cap mother fuckers.

luv

Captain PirateFace

"There's nothing to mourn about death any more than there is to mourn about the growing of a flower. What is terrible is not death but the lives people live or don't live up until their death. They don't honor their own lives, they piss on their lives. They shit them away. Dumb fuckers. They concentrate too much on fucking, movies, money, family, fucking. Their minds are full of cotton. They swallow God without thinking, they swallow country without thinking. Soon they forget how to think, they let others think for them. Their brains are stuffed with cotton. They look ugly, they talk ugly, they walk ugly. Play them the great music of the centuries and they can't hear it. Most people's deaths are a sham. There's nothing left to die. "

-Charles Bukowski-

How the lovely people treat me at my lovely work.

a poem to express my annoyance.









They break

Open minded and somewhat slow.We are the eternal rag tag crew, off to the side…
Swallowing our pride and taking the random punch to the face.Then we write shitty little poems about the experience.
We are grown men and women pathetically holding on to youth.
We are grown and treated like children by our equals and betters.There is no respecting this diseased outfit of strangers, weirdo’s and losers.
But I am sick of laying my pride, heart and soul at your feet to trample upon.And although my people live poorly and enjoy the stranger aspects of life we love more fiercely than you could even begin to understand.
You old women and oppressive degree holders.
You haters of music art and poetry.
I hope your Hell is well lit.
And I hope you are given a mirror to watch yourself burn.

I'm not sleeping... cold wind blowing....

My friends and bitter enemies I swear I have yet to give up the Ghost....

I have been worse off than I have felt in a long time.

My days are painfully sad and depressing.

But I think I am ready for a change...

we shall see...

contact Captain PirateFace for a random telephone encounter!!!

702-624-2380

here be some shite...

whiny day

Listless dreamer
always a little bit
sad.
always a little bit
perturbed.
Always in search for the faded
and dreamy sleep
one so damn hopeless such as I
crave and beg for.
piss and moan.

piss

and
moan.




Home Sweet Home

a hollow place...
where I can perfect my callow ways.
A dark place where my heartbeat slows down to a crawl.
And I sit staring at scary images on the television set...
black and white films filling my emptying head.
Did I tell you I am dying?




Mr. Death

Jumped by Mr. Dead...
walking around town
bloated and blue

and in an almost

"ghostly" daze.
Eyes sunk back
and lips curled showing
off your lifetime of
dental work

and

your winning smile.

peace out.

alone with toto's bloody fucking paw.

Yikes.
What a heading eh? CHRIST O'MIGHTY!
Spell check said that "O'MIGHTY" is misspelled.... I beg to differ.
So as you can plainly see... I am not dead yet. Yipee.
Tomorrow I shall hunt for the Egg's that the Christ Rabbit hid with my tiger of a son. And we shall feast on the un-born egg boiled inside it's shell and worship at the feat of the great fucking big bunny-god. Amen and yep.

too many noises in this house.
chripes.

ok turn off tv man.
turn off down low.
down
looooooooooooooooooow.
shabang.
doowop.
debweidewbop.

check out later post's for more inner peace and some bit of sense.