sanity

These days

I look at the scars on my hands
only half remembering the battles.
I stare in the mirror looking at the laughlines
and the little grey hairs that mix in with the brown.
I feel my age
I feel my heart
I feel I should put the pen down..
I am breathing in life
and
breathing out death
Smiling and crying inside at the same time
all the time.


Captain Pirateface


So? What defines sanity?
How often we are real and honest?
Or how often we fake it?

Cried in the shower this morning and couldn't figure out why.
Sane or insane?
Who fucking knows..

blah

I miss you.. whomever will love me.

Smiling
Getting tougherAnd I am gettingolderLaugh linesFrown linesThank God tears don't stainI am a professionalLoverLiarBullshitterFriendMentorAll these on any given day.Don't let the smile slip.Close the door before you cryYou big dumb foolAt the end of the day I hold myself closeAnd repeat..."It's going to be okay"And can't tell am I lying or telling the truth? 

Smiling

Smiling

Getting tougher
And I am getting
older
Laugh lines
Frown lines
Thank God tears don't stain
I am a professional
Lover
Liar
Bullshitter
Friend
Mentor
All these on any given day.
Don't let the smile slip.
Close the door before you cry
You big dumb fool
At the end of the day I hold myself close
And repeat...
"It's going to be okay"
And can't tell
am I lying or telling the truth? 

Wolves

My wolves are at me again

Tearing me up

Ripping out my guts

My insides

And people are finally paying for the show.

Bastards.

My blood is black and my heart still beats as it is swallowed whole.

My wolves are choking..

My wolves are still very hungry.

And the next day we repeat the process.

My wolves and I

Eating me up as I watch them eat 

Gladly feeding them forever and ever...

Captain PirateFace

Not a fibber! ;)

I swear, I will update this bitch! See, proof in the pudding.

Hello y wonderful people! Anybody still with me here? I have not abandoned you all nor have I abandoned Pornography on the radio... Just been off the grid for the last 6 months is all. no net. no phone. no cable. And I have come out with a new understanding of who I am... who Captain PirateFace is... I m a bad motherfucker and I m really starting to like me again... not "Love" but like.. small steps baby small steps.

so..

what up dog?

Tomorrow night... new poetry. no fucking joke.

Peace

Captain Pirateface

Lips Manless

So.... what up night crawlers?

I am desperately trying to box up some pain and loss. It's cool. by the time I am an old man I will be the strongest mother fucker on the planet.... because, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger right?

I am going to try and live a happier life for me. And that is and up and down thing ain't it?

Maybe I need meds again?

we shall see.

I miss talking to myself on this blog. all my non readers.


love

 Captain Pirateface

another night of fisting my soul

I hate my life all but two and a half days a week.

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