just past the surf... the sea creature drags me down slowly to my death...

well then...

hello.

how are you fine people i pretend to talk to when i update my blog?

fine.

good.

i guess it's time to proceed.

____________________________________________________________________

Oh Baleen!

My sea Goddess!!!
My Enchanting mermaid!!
I want to crash around in the ocean surf with you.

I want to dine in fine krill restaurants.

We will go buffet and you can chow down as much as you like!
May the tides push us together forever...

* Baleen Whales can eat up to four tons of small fish and krill in one day

she haunts me while i cease to be

every where i go

even when i retreat into the darkness of closed eyelids,

she is there.

every time i drop my guard...

her face comes to mind...

and i hate it.

i hate the taunting beauty i miss so terribly.

it's time i said goodbye and meant it...

i am ready.

if you would just kindly remove your hand from my heart.
is it love or torture or both?

who fucking knows....

right?











My sun implodes leaving this galaxy vacant and dead.

Dramatic Title:

Check

Black, runny, dramatic ink:

Check

Soundtrack of misery choice for the evening, Portishead:
Check
"It was gonna be God Damn beautiful"

he thought.

He wrote Hallmark Cards.

Knuckle fucking a stranger as a means to say...
"Hello Sweetheart!"

Hey silly poet, here's a band-aid for that bum ticker... alright scooter?

i drive everyone i love away.
i wish i was normal.
i wish i wasn't a loser.
i wish i hadn't fucked up half my life.

my world is falling apart...

and i am trying so damn hard.

i am holding on.

but do not know if i can much longer.

struggle kills hearts and souls.
i want to love and be loved.
oh dear god i am going to die alone...

but not without a damn fight.

the captain's defeat... and rebirth.

i am walking around again.
the living dead.
i am the walking wounded,
battle scars exposed to the world.

making the normals wince.
i stare out to sea
looking past dark waves
slowly making way up the shore

like black ink exploding into bone white foam.
the waves gentle lull, a peaceful whisper in rhythm with my heart.
i watch for my ship.
i watch in restlessness, eyes wide open nearly unblinking.
i watch for the ship that sank long ago in sight of land,
to ferry my tired soul to calm, dark, peaceful places.
i finally close my eyes and collapse

and dream...

dream...

dream.

it's always about you John...

i hear the faint sound of Halloween songs in my head.
i stare at old photo's, working up old memory tears.
i sing my own lyrics to the compositions of Beethoven and Chopin,
butchering their beauty with my broken hearted verses.
i hold my own hand because nobody else wants the job.
i write juvenile poetry in blue composition books filled with
my certifiable chicken scratch.
i see beauty in love in everyone and everything...
even though i am constantly let down.

i live in a desert and crave the ocean so bad i could scream.

i will become rainclouds and add pure drama to your dreary day.

i love more than i will ever get to be loved in my lifetime.
we all fail a little bit...
i guess.

Oh Love, give me just one more chance..
i wont fail you again...
(fingers crossed)

_-_-_-___----_________-------__-_--_________----________

not much to say. feeling pretty lonely these days... more so than usual.

i miss tania.

see you later.

Captain PirateFace

p.s.s.s.s.s.s.sssssssssssssssssss555555

Some of these may have made it into a previous post. If any did... sorry... Effin' Sue Me Aight!?!?!