i was livin' in a devil town...

The following was written in a stupor of some kind ( I will not verify if it was drug induced or drink induced ) am I using that to excuse any of what I typed? no... I feel that honesty is the best policy no matter how bitter the taste. So below you can dwell in the naked feelings of a fool who writes to read his own silly gibberish....

Captain PirateFace

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"I was livin in a devil town..
didn't know it was a devil town...
Oh lord it really brings me down about the devil town.
And all my friends were vampires.
Didn't know they were vampires..
Turns out I was a vampire myself in the devil town."



A message to the masses from Captain PirateFace

Fuck you all.
Did you hear that?
Fuck you all.
This isn't some emo teens blog.
This isn't some over privileged fuckers writing time.
This is little bits and pieces of my stupid little life.
Don't be surprised that that crack in the ice have appeared under my feet.
And yes I was directly quoting Pink Floyd.
I am fucking Flawed.
I try in my Love Life, My Family Life, My Job and I fail at all three...
I am not a good husband, father or worker.
I rely on little white pills to stabilise my already complicated moods.
Every stupid little poem written is from my sick guts.
Guts that some of you can claim responsibility for helping destroy.
You know who you are if your even reading at all.
I won't name names.
Do you know what it's like to get up day after day and come to grips
with the fact that you cannot succeed. That people around you tell you lies
and give you false hope knowing full God damn well you will never do it, Never make it?
I miss my family. I am sick of being so alone.
I am so sick and sad that my son, my poor little boy has a father like me....
my special little boy.
The only person to bring joy into this sad pathetic world I own.
He deserves so much more than me.
He is the only reason I haven't killed myself, Because I am selfish and can't stand the thought
of not seeing his little face smile and see him sing along to his songs and to hold him and to watch
him breath as he sleeps.

And I can almost guess what your thinking....
Oh Captain is he not reason enough?
He should be shouldn't he?
You would think....
and he inspires me.
But I always end up failing and falling.
And I think some days he would be better
off having a decent dead father than a living shitty one.
My wife and I have the same problem.
We have nobody we can talk too, Because when she opens up to me
I cannot face her honesty and treat it as an attack.
It's the cowards way of reacting... I just cant take her feelings of feeling helpless and
hurt and alone on top of my mounted problems. And though I know she does not read this
piece of shit blog I am sorry to her for that.
I wish she had picked better and I wish I wasn't so damn selfish by begging her not to leave me all the time.
Even though she greatly deserves her freedom from me.

So again...
any of you pre judging fucks speak up. I have nothing left to lose.
I will meet you in any alley or street in the Valley and take you on fist to fist just to
get the blood back on my hands and regain some of that sick perverse strength I would find in the
act of near murder.
For those of you with half a heart and some very mild interest in this horrorshow.
I am sorry I am batshit crazy.
I am sorry.
I am sorry.
I am sorry.








That is all for now and again I am sorry.

Good listening:
PJ Harvey = Before Departure
Gus Gus = Is Jesus your pal?