Very amazing stuff... very "real"
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Quick stepping
The night she tore my heart out I began to walk...
Up walls and on ceilings.
Knocking down light fixtures.
Leaving footprints in hard to clean places.
The reality she held together faded fast.
And for the first time in a very long time...
I was having a ball!
Panic attack in the loving arms of a whore.
We sat on the bed.
This bed that had taken part in more sin and sweat than most prison riots.
We sat there...
not fucking.
not kissing.
not even praying...
we sat on that bed holding one another, silently crying real tears for one another.
not a single one for ourselves.
we cried for one another...
mostly out of pity.
a bit out of our own weakness to save one another.
like watching one another from a distance on passing ships, waving back and forth as our ships sank into dark cold water.
unable to save each other.
that night she didn't charge me.
that night I didn't tell my wife.
Sunken eyes
this congregation , kneeling and praying.
letting little sobs out into snotty used tissue.
stuffing a collection plate with equally snotty filled cash.
paying for salvation from your sins.
eyes sunk in from lack of sleep.
thoughts turning to:
the husband back at home fucking the mail carrier with her tight little shorts.
the child crushing up the pain pills and snorting it up his nose.
the empty house filled with empty take out boxes since she ran off with your brother.
the higher the payment the better chance your salvation will be at hand.
lawyers and clergy.
stunning shark smiles.
I am looking for the person who used to be me?
This fool in this wrecked body...
just cant be what I grew into.
Devastating.
Charming in that pathetic one legged dog way.
The world fills in around me.
I am in oblivion.
and then a run down cafe surrounds me.
And the 2 a.m. drunks sobering up with burnt coffee.
And the whores with smeared make-up from sweaty sex or back hand slaps.
I hurry to bed and count the seconds...
1,2,3,4,5,etc...
That much closer to death
Every day.
Every night...
I feel there is this gigantic dark wave coming for me.
Filled with bad dream flesh eating fish.
Every day.
Every night...
there is this darkness waiting to envelope me,
kicking and screaming.
My skin is crawling and as time sneaks up on me...
it's getting harder to swallow.
Please save me.
Don't be the one who remembers this moment as the chance you had to save me...
and failed.
cannot rescue myself from this nightmare.
Goodnight everyone...
This old Captain loves some of ya but hates the guts of most of ya.
Captain PirateFace
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