Relax--this won't hurt

Old man.... go be an old man.



So life has been all fucked as of late. I got fired from Paradise Park Recreation Center... The reason... "Lack of judgment". Here is the short version: I asked my supervisor a month ago if I could have a surprise party for Frank (My wife's cousin) and invite his friends... The Teen Leaders. His reply: "As long as you get parents permission and don't promote it as a county thing, it's alright with me." The party comes and all is well... Cake and pizza and soda. A few weeks later I am ready to go on the trip to Lee Canyon with some of the teens and I get a call from my female supervisor. I meet with her and she tells me that I can not go on the trip, because she claims a parent called and insisted that I am an immature, irresponsible Rec Leader, and that their child attended a party at my home where the teens were having inappropriate conversations. I tell her that my male supervisor gave me the ok for the party and that the teens were well behaved and that if a conversation with the teens was not appropriate I didn't hear anything bad. She tells me she will have to speak with my male supervisor and let me know what the outcome will be. It was a rough weekend. Monday comes and she tells me I am being fired... I won't get into the details of the conversation but I will tell you that she asked my male supervisor if he gave me an ok for the party and he denied ever having the conversation. Yes folks... He lied to save his own cowardly ass. The teens found out about my termination and became very upset. They have recently taken up a letter writing campaign to get me back, compensation or to out my supervisors as the villains they are. I now have a meeting this week with my supervisors (both) and their supervisor to discuss what can be done (possibly reinstatement to Clark County Parks and Rec). I have left out a grip of details, as everything is still pending and I don't want to completely bore you. Let me just say it has been an incredibly hard week with moments of real value... The teens willingness to fight for me and bear their souls and speak about me in the kindest respects both breaks my heart and makes me glow. I have an incredible amount of little brothers and sisters now... And no matter what happens will be there for them. Besides that I am psyched for Halloween (My home skillet Ben is sending me the most badass Halloween music set ever...It's badass because I made it!) and I am going to rock this Halloween with me boy. Gina is painting like a woman possessed... Getting ready for the October "First Friday" and my friend Matt is finishing up some awesome graphic design for a small 15 poem book we will be giving out (or selling?) this upcoming first Friday. Oh yeah, Also... My friend John Giddinge is preparing to film a short based on one of my poems, Titled: "Two cats purring in the night discussing life". Which I will include in tonight's brief poetic madness below. I hope all is well with all of you. Life has been one giant punch in the face lately but I feel like getting up for another punch and another and another and another...

Discuss this all over God damned dinner will ya? and now... On with the shite!


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She looked like a victim to me.








What a beauty.

The wind brought dust throughout the valley today. And the setting sun shone through the dust while closing down in between the tall buildings at the center of our city. Bringing to mind "Zombie" and "End of the world" films. The night is cool and the sky looks like California rain... but we will never be that lucky. The wind has pushed out the heat from the valley. It is tolerable outside and has a pleasant wet sprinkler smell. The mail didn’t even bring bad news today. Most likely my atom bombs will drop tomorrow. I keep losing and smiling like an over relaxed buffoon. My parents raised a moron. Who loves the smell of sprinklers and cool air in the middle of a deadly and cruel world.

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Relax--this won’t hurt

Kneeling on the ground.
Watching the tears slow motion tumble and explode on the concrete below.
Wondering if praying would help.
It never had before.
This one thing continues to plague me...
She plagues me.
I know the memory's won't fade away and I know the tears are on unlimited supply.
It's this soul I am pulling out every night.
Through the mouth and full of rotten black blood.
This soul is dying.
The Doctor and the Priest and her wicked smile all scream the same thing.
Relax, this won't hurt.
I survive by lies and deceptions and hope in that someday...
It won’t hurt
anymore.


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Two cats purring in the night discussing life

The world is a big empty place with more ghosts then people. The world is small
and scary and filled with angry hateful people. Both statements seemed kind of
correct. God hates us and he lets little girls die and he allows rape and suicide.
God loves us and teaches us patience and guidance and will reward us for our
suffering. We should be saving ourselves not each other. We should be holding
hands and holding knives to each others throats warning "don't do it... I am here
and I will stop you." more sex less love more abortions less children less guns
more food more water. More love more sex more children better loving and living
and dying and more atomic bombs and more meat products and more music.
More prostitutes as psychologists... your getting fucked anyhow and who says a
whore cant solve humanity's problems? I loved and loved and loved and died for it.
I suffered for it. I fucked for it. Fornicated For it. Bled for it. Screamed for it. Called
out into the night for it. I was on my knees when the world collapsed. I was praying
and I was washing my hands and I was looking at a picture of Marilyn Monroe.
I saw angels descend on us all with swords drawn and tear filled eyes and I saw them
forgive us While striking down our wicked.

Your wicked.
What a happy accident we all must have been...
To our parents, to God, to the Mailmen who deliver our very existent.
I love you love. Lovers. Moms and dads. Sisters and brothers. Extended family.
Mankind and murderers. I love you Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Thank you for dying for us all.
All of you.
You did a hell of a job.

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Goodnight Scurvey Dogs... The Captain Loves Yah! And Yer Whores! HAR HAR HAR!!!























Captain PirateFace