It seems as though... despite all my best attempts at happiness... I am doomed. So, this week I plan to go to the dr and go back on anti-depressants. I have made this choice because lately I have had terrible, terrible thoughts. And... I am afraid I will fall back into "other" things to numb pain and forget depression. But no matter how many pills I end up taking to make me "smile" my life won't get better. People will still treat me like shit. I will still be broke all the time. I will still be alone.
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