Pornography on the Radio: we fell all the way down and when we hit the bottom... it wasn't so bad.

Soooooooo..... my peep's.... my voyeurs.... my invisible fan club.... we meet again.

i hate to speak this aloud for fear of ruining it (let alone type it) but...

i have been really happy lately... go figure right?

a few "notes" from my "note pad" :

"i feel like smiling allot lately. i have met that girl i have pined away for... maybe I finally deserve this?"

"here i am... rotating with the Earth again..."

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i have an amazing beautiful, talented and crazy little boy...

i have met an amazing woman...

hours disappear with her...

and i am madly in love.

so now comes the battle of not fucking it up. here comes the unsure-ness of oneself. here comes the self doubt... "am i good enough for her?" "she's a 10 and i am a 3"....all that silliness that your humble author brings upon himself... but i shall keep it to myself... well... kinda.

and here is some po-etry....

Look at them teeth!!!

Snapping and biting as if possessed by Satan.
i can see they are smiling at something...

is it me or my impending doom?
they bite and snap in their own frightening rhythm...
i bob my head along to the beat and back away slowly...
bowing out respectively.

Wind

now i sit and listen to the wind
for her voice to come whispering past my ear...
and then i remember the taste of her kiss..
her scent...
her touch.
the wind takes me to her when she is away..
it carries my words away.

We the robots

Training one another... sit. obey. listen. beg. beg. beg.
i smile big smiles and let the ones after me know it isn't all meat and bone.
pain and tears.
that we get to fucking smile sometimes...
and when we do...
god damn...
it hurts so good.

i remember when i used to laugh at my tears...

now i just cry when i laugh.