I am at work right now and I could easily snap today as my patience is at it's very limitied.
Why do people think they deserve things they have not worked for?
What kind of fucking bullshit is that eh?
I am so fucking sick of being bled fucking dry.
But what the fuck ever.
I don't fucking care anymore.
I am just sick to death of people trying to fuck me over at every point.
every
fucking
day.
I hate feeling mad and annoyed like this.
I just have this feeling I am getting screwed over all the time.
fuck it.
I am trying to keep calm and breath, breath, breath through my nose and feel it rise in my chest. And I am trying not to come unglued. I am trying not to lose my cool and explode. I want to scream and cry and lose my God damn mind but I am trying to remain calm.
breathing in.
breathin out.
breathing in.
breathing out.
oh and here is some writing...
Keeping Calm.
Eaten alive?
Smiling into the face of unknown voids and
deep dark chasms.
Be a Hero.
Be Brave.
Be a man little boy...
Just for one night.
Breath.
"I felt like crying but nothing came out. it was just a sort of sad sickness, sick sad, when you can't feel any worse. I think you know it. I think everybody knows it now and then. but I think I have known it pretty often, too often." — Charles Bukowski (Tales of Ordinary Madness)
throw a light bulb at a wall, or in a trash can (so you don't have to clean up a mess) my favorite thing to do. The sound of the glass breaking calms me down. I know, weird.
ReplyDeletehttp://8.media.tumblr.com/UtJ3srVKgjkl186xBrpGptuko1_500.jpg
ReplyDeletesorry to hear your day was shit. i hate days like that, but at least you got a cool poem out of it!
ReplyDeletesometimes, when i'm super frustrated, i play out a scenario in my head where i just go crazy at work...like throwing computers, screaming my head off, knocking shit over...like this guy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFnp26xfMcc
i think of this shit, and then i laugh to myself. always makes me feel better haha ;)