Seafoam Green / I had an idea that was aborted quickly and painfully

don't hold on, go get strong
well don't you know?
there is no modern romance
and time, time is gone
it stops stops who it wants
well i was wrong, it never lasts
there is no, this is no modern romance

-The Yeah Yeah Yeahs "Modern Romance"


I seem to be a blend of very very happy and completely fucked miserable as of late. Like a lion yawning and getting a rifle aimed right down the throat and shot through the gullet. I am still bleeding red so I must still be a little bit human. I have smiled as much as I have cried lately and it's a very strange sensation. But I will say this: I am getting stronger.

I refuse to take shit from certain parties with a grain of salt anymore.
I am stronger then they think and I refuse to be treated like garbage.
I will stay true to what I believe is right and lead the fight with all my willpower,
courage, family and friends by my side.

There is one less darkness I need not fear anymore.

I deserve this.



I deserve this.

then again... do I really? and what is it exactly I deserve????

Aaaah, the fight for my soul between the Good Captain, The Bad Captain and The Ugly Captain.

Always a different winner every night folks.
Always a good laugh to be had at my expense.
Always a fucking nightmare in my head riding a wave of emotions on spin control.

Who shall I be today.

Fuck if I know.

"Maps" by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Pack up
I'm straight
Enough
Oh, say say say
Oh, say say say
Oh, say say say
Oh, say say say
Oh, say say say

Wait, they don't love you like i love you
Wait, they don't love you like i love you
Ma-a-a-a-ps, wait!
They don't love you like i love you...

Made off
Don't stray
My kind's your kind
I'll stay the same

Pack up
Don't stray
Oh, say say say
Oh, say say say

Wait! they don't love you like i love you
Wait! they don't love you like i love you
Ma-a-a-aps, wait!

They don't love you like i love you...
Wait! they don't love you like i love you
Ma-a-a-aps, wait!
They don't love you like i love you...

Wait, they don't love you like i love you
Wait, they don't love you like i love you
Ma-a-a-a-ps, wait!
They don't love you like i love you...
Wait, they don't love you like i love you
Ma-a-a-a-ps, wait!
They don't love you like i love you...

Captain PirateFace