On the edge of the night
My room and this vastness,
awake over parroting land, -
are one. I am a string,
strung over rustling wide
resonances.
The things are violin bodies,
full of grumbling dark;
inside the wifes' weeping is dreaming,
inside the rancour of whole dynasties
is stirring in the sleep…
I shall
shake silverly: then
everything underneath me will live,
and what errs in the things,
will strive after the light,
which falls from my dancing tone,
around which heaven waves,
through narrow, yearning cracks,
into the old
chasms without
end…
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If you are just discovering this Blog of DOOM, have a seat and relax. Please feel free to peruse my previous posts and what not. Please excuse me while I get some bitching done…
The time for giving up is so damn close at hand.
I think my wife hates me on a personal level. She can’t help but attack me for anything and everything I do. Like I am the world’s biggest fuck up. If she hates me so much why can’t she just leave me the fuck alone???????????
Saw M.C. Lars tonight, what a funny, intuitive show he puts on! He is just a clever guy (and signed a ticket stub for Gabriel… “Gabriel is more punk then me!” -M.C. Lars-). But, his set was much too short. The other bands were O.K.
An open letter to all who ask me the same question or make the same statement:"Are you mad at me?" or "You don't ever respond or write to me."
you know, I am not pissed at you, but I will tell you what pisses me off though. I get the same letter every other day from some person I know and everyone is so wrapped up in themselves that they assume I haven't contacted them due to something that has to do with them. It's not always about all of you. The reason I have not really been in contact with anyone as of late is because of the following reasons...
1. I have zero damn time to myself working 2 jobs.
2. When I do have time away from work it is usually spent fighting with my wife or crying due to the fact that my fucking life is in the shitter and will be till the day I die.
3. I am lazy.
It has nothing to do with you or any of the people I know. It's all due to my craptastic life. If I had a problem with you, you would know... If I didn't want to hear from you I would tell you to fuck off. Have I done that? NO! So just relax. I barely have time to breath let alone write people. Some have said: "But John, you have time to write poems?" my response to that is... If I don't write I will go to jail for fucking killing someone or you will be visiting me at your local cemetery because I would have killed myself long ago.
I hope you understand...
Well, besides the greeting above, a fucked marriage and my admiration of M.C. Lars nerdcore set and my bittersweet explanation.
The Captain.
P.S. No writing tonight, because my wife forbids it. The computer screen is "too bright" and my creative process isn't worth a fuck because it doesn't bring any $$$ like hers does. I apologize for not having the willpower to fight back. Yet again, she gets her way and I am fucked. Such is my amazing life.
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