My placebo works better with a sip of guilt.

tired.





















more crap.
---------------------



















suffer the little children

The wee ones.
Addicted and fornicated.
Blessed and berated.
Looking up to us with little dead black eyes asking...
"Why are we killing them?"
It's easier to walk away.
Take a pill.
Take a sip.
.
Then face that reality.
We collectively stack our skeletons in the closet...
And then some.
__________________________________________













Watching the looks that work their bony fingers into your saturated fat heart.

They want you to stop watching them.
To take your notice and shove it up your ass.
They are sucking in the gut and pushing up their tits.
They are doing their best to not limp on that bad foot and Straighten up their back
to avoid a slouch.
They only say intelligent things.
They want you to feel stupid around them.
They are wearing cloths too tight and too big.
"Look at my ass" means "Dear God I hope they don't look at my face."
The pretend people.
The human race.
Throwing up after meals.
Plucking unwanted hair.
Spraying on the fake stuff to cover the bald spot.
Bigger breasts smaller I-Pods.
You all lose.

____________________________________________________
(The Captain... 18 years old, on the path to self destruction)






















idiot kid

you thought you would grow up to change the world.
You didn't.
You thought you would show the world that you could be a winner.
You aren't.
You go to bed every night promising that before you die
you will change the world somehow... some way.
You won't. You can't. You didn't.
So what now?


___________________________________________________________________
















It’s like...

Strangling your self with the umbilical cord.
Getting up from a beating and crying all the way home.
Writing a love letter that strangely resembles a suicide note.
Waving goodbye to a complete stranger.
Watching the rain pass over you.
Holding a child’s hand.
Missing someone that does not even know you exist.
Taking a picture of a rolling wave.
Getting goose bumps watching two people you will never meet embrace.
Listening to the sound of a dramatic violin solo.
Reading words written down that brings you to tears and knots up your stomach.
Living every day for everyone but yourself.
I wish they all really knew me, just for a second.
___________________________________________________________

We all went away didn't we.

Our promises were empty.
Our vows broken.
The oath a joke.
We were millions of miles from each other.
No matter where we were.
We had lied.
Gone to dark remote corners to lick our wounds.
To pity ourselves.
To suffer alone...
needlessly.
You said that I would never be alone.
I said the same thing.
And as I am now, you are probably the same.
More alone than ever before.
I am sorry.
We probably knew we deserved this from the beginning.
Our little subliminal secret.
I hope you suffer well.
I know I am.























Scared of the endless sacrifice.

My body should be decimated.
My heart had been torn out long ago.
I breath raspy and shallow.
My brain is diseased and rotten.
My skin is pock marked and my muscle has been over taken with fat.
My courage is a distant memory.
My soul has vacated long ago.
This shell eats and sleeps and works for money.
Money has replaced my soul.
My heart is now where I put all my wants.
My brain only remembers regret.
My love is a memory shared by the vacant spots left.
I am tired now and have to go to sleep,
So I can go to work and not strain my broken parts.
To make money for food and for needs and wants.
I need to be fixed.






















I can close my eyes and pretend I am alone.

The world and all the sickness disappear.
The darkness sooths and gives me a chance to breath.
I pretend everything does not exist anymore.
This hated face, body, personality... all gone.
And I feel warmth all around me.
And a deep darkness that goes on forever.
Floating in nothing.
I am at peace if only for a moment.
It is my time in the dark.




















Goodnight from the Captain...
See you later, you know where...
















May your night be filled with ninja kicks and granny teeth.
Love...




Captain PirateFace