trapped in the body of a fatass.
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I am listening to Death Cab for Cutie's "Brothers on a Hotel Bed".
I feel like I am just not succeding. I feel like the worlds biggest loser. I wish I could take care of my family but it seem's that I am just doomed to be a nothing. I can't get ahead. I am always one step behind. I pray to God my son grows up to be a better man than I am. sorry about the pitty party, I just feel really down and nobody wants to even attempt to help me out of this funk.
yeah...
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The constant smiling is making a liar out of me.
time for the face to stop aching.
time for this fat face to relax.
time for the jaw to loosen up.
time for the teeth to stop grinding.
It's not that I am not being sincere.
I just lie to myself.
It's so much easier to fall down on the bed and cry.
a three hundred plus pound crash onto the bed,
letting out pathetic fat man sobs.
even the cat avoids this horrible display.
can you blame him?
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old and tired post tonight
bye
c.pirateface
"I felt like crying but nothing came out. it was just a sort of sad sickness, sick sad, when you can't feel any worse. I think you know it. I think everybody knows it now and then. but I think I have known it pretty often, too often." — Charles Bukowski (Tales of Ordinary Madness)
You are far from the worlds biggent loser, you aren't even on the losing side of the spectrum. You have touched many people lives in many diffrent ways, including mine. You should hope your son grows up to turn out just like you, not better. You are the best person you can be and you are3 one of the most amazing people I know. I know its hard for you family wise, I know, I see it first hand, but its okay. Everyone has problems like that. I know that if society was judged on character you would be at the top of the damn list. I want you to know that I love you, in the non-gay way of course. You silly bitch.
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