"I felt like crying but nothing came out. it was just a sort of sad sickness, sick sad, when you can't feel any worse. I think you know it. I think everybody knows it now and then. but I think I have known it pretty often, too often." — Charles Bukowski (Tales of Ordinary Madness)
 |
| love captain pirateface |
I have stopped talking to the girl I have fallen harder for than any other. I miss her so much... and she doesn't even care. The days are long and only set to get longer... I wish she would love me still.
Captain pirateface
Why is it the women who fall in love with me end up hating me? Am I that fucking terrible?
So... I am about to throw away what I so badly want the most. I would have loved you forever Marilyn.
I would have given you my heart.
Captain pirateface
Walking backwards and in circles again.
Bloody footprints to show where I have been.
I have no hand to hold as I slowly shuffle off to oblivion.
No lips to kiss when the bombs go off.
No lover to hold when I am scared of the things I cannot control.
she isn't even thinking about you anymore.
She doesn't want you.
Yeah... I know.
Captain Pirateface
Every Sunday afternoon/evening I have to bring my son home to his mothers... and every Sunday I come back home, walk in... and cry like a little boy. I miss my son so much when he goes... and the void of loneliness overtakes me every week. Because he is the only person that loves me. And nobody else wants me or wants me around. I miss my little man and I detest feeling so sad and down till Friday when I get to see him again.
Sitting in the shower the water comes down soft and warm... embracing even..
The cold air outside my shower door seems a million miles away.
My bones ache...
Good morning
I have missed you all. Needed the break from myself but now am back to harrang the shit outta me!
Broken hearted broken spirit
You lose all sense of decency.
Once you fuck. Once you have been there.
You become animals.
Even after the sweating and heaving and nastiness and slime...
Now you lose the rational thought that kept you sane...
You fucking goddamn idiot... falling in love never saved you.
But you gladly lock it up like a teenage girls diary.
Fuck you kid.
Fuck you.
Much love
Captain PirateFace
Why can't she love me enough to just be with me?
I don't know Captain. I just don't know.
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
Ask your mother.
So... my parents are leaving for Buffalo NY on Tuesday. This makes me very sad. I have never lived so far from them and I'm not gonna lie... it scares the shit out of me. They are taking the two dogs and two cats as well.
Its going to be a very tough week.
Captain PirateFace
Briana and I aren't together anymore and the heartbreak gets worse by the day and no... I am not ok.
Captain PirateFace
Going for a few mile morning walk I chill for a moment at a park... a park at the base of Sunrise Mountain. Cudi... you just everywhere I go...
