so...........................................................................................................
jellyfish
Had it out with a buddy the other day. i hope things will be better from here on out. If not... well, i have no patience for silly friend drama. i would rather have no friends.. which i am damn close to having... i have a handful of friends at best and they barely wan't to see me. i guess being a father is good enough for me...
after all was said and done with this friend, in the time it took me to chew him out... i still felt like the world's biggest prick. though in my heart, i know what i said needed to be said.
was going to go to Coachella this year, but ticket's sold out faster than i had time to secure the fund's, so... no Coachella. and that makes me sad :(
i have been so damn lonely. it seems like the longer i stay single the more i fall out of touch. i miss loving someone. i miss holding someone. i miss kissing and hanging out and having a partner in crime. i feel like a lonely fat solo Batman... where's my Catwoman eh? (You thought i was gonna say Robin huh?).
to quote from the film Magnolia: "I really do have love to give; I just don't know where to put it."
i have tried a few dating sites... desperation has finally set in... and i must be so fucking Shrek-like, as i repel most interesting/beautiful woman. i have met some cute ladies but my lack of social skills (socially retarded) i can't even bring myself to attempt to have a phone conversation with them... pathetic? yes. i totally agree. i get off work and spend hours alone in a room... i just wan't somebody to love... need.
it always makes me think of those i have loved and lost.. all of them. a year in March... i will be alone a year in March... fuck.
My Ex-Wife's Art show is tomorrow, if you get the chance to go... you should. if you live far... far away, well, at least check out her work.. Haunting and Beautiful.
and here is some crap poetry! enjoy!!!!
and the pretty girls no longer smile at me
even in a damn poem title i gotta lie?
pretty girls have "never" smiled at me...
the gal's i attract are usually a tad bit "different"...
maybe a little...
crazy
nuts
bat shit insane
and they might have...
track mark's
neurosis
episodes
daddy issues
multiple lovely personalities...
yep.
(an oldie waaaaay back from 2009!!! woot! woot!
And I don't know this reality anymore
tiger cats eating my brain
scratching and
pickin.
I stand in a candel lit bathroom
smelling her perfume, her scent
all while missing her
(and realize it's actually creepy to be doing this)
This makes me laugh out loud
as I write these silly damn words.
I want to high 5 everyone on earth.
I want to kiss soft lips and feel the bulge grow in my pants.
It's raining now and things feel hopefull.
I hope.
Atomic Cowboy
Oh Atomic Cowboy
You ride on through the night
Oh Atomic Cowboy
You stay brightly lit by the radiation.
Oh Atomic Cowboy
Even you horse is hardcore
not slightly bothered by an atomic blast.
Oh Atomic Cowboy
Keep kickin' up dust trails pardner!
Luv, Captain PirateFace
