the softest music... yet the sweetest sound is from your breath.

Oh Joy!
Rapture!

so...
How are you kind folks doin' out there.
Are you breathing with me?

You may not know it but I think about you people...
unknown to me or why you read this inane rambling.
But, I love you for it.
And I wonder if your.....
ok.

so, I am right back where a great writer should be. alone and lonely. so on the good end of the bad stick... the sadder i am... hopefully the poetry will get better. or not.
fuck... it can't get much worse! SNORT.

I am fast approaching my 30th birthday and it isn't scary really, it's just kind of sad. When i was young and not much dumber i figured i would be "somebody" by this time. Not a "scrape by" kinda fella. I didn't even go to my high school reunion because i was embarrassed. Stupid I know but you can't make a monster into a man... just a man into a monster i.e. me (the captain).
So I find myself thinking about these women who fall in love with me.
As soon as i start to either really care about someone or love them regardless of how shitty i am treated... they leave.

maybe i am only worth loving for a little while?

maybe these lovely ladies realize they can do a hell of a lot better?

I don't really know anymore...
and the shittiest thing of all...
I am afraid to fall in love again.
and, besides that...

It's not like they are knocking down the doors.
"Hey ladies! I am an over weight school district employee, divorced with an autistic 6 year old child... what do ya think?.... wait....where are you going?"

hehe




here is some stuff that resembles writing in some obscene capacity.....


losing my ghost

she no longer haunts me
she no longer loves me
she no longer holds me
her lips will never find mine again...
never
i have been here before
in this lonely place
we are old friends, this vacant void and i

but i am breathing
walking slowly
smiling best i can
she might read this...
she might not
either way
she wont care

so many women will think this is about them...
so many women will be wrong.

fuck them all.



holding it all in. (my very rare attempt to yet again... rhyme somehow)

my breath held forever
a mistake in knowing you
my breath held forever
with my face turning blue
my breath held forever
i waited for you to smile
my breath held forever
it took a little while...
and i died.


my lovely ape

i waited...
i waited for her to love me.
to tell me her hearts secrets.
she opened up to me one special day,
like a blossoming flower... she bloomed.
And from that day on...
she never shut the fuck up again.



painful

i miss her kiss.
her soft hand in mine.
the way she would hold me... forever.
i miss the way her voice would tell me
"I love you".
Of course...
she lied.
i miss her that when i think about her...
i hurt.
and
cry.
and even though i miss her...
she will never know me again.
my touch is the touch of ghosts and fading memory.
i hope i always remember the love and the pain... everything.
i hope she never thinks of me again.


This day will never end

walking through a wasteland dribbling a basketball on the cold desert floor.
kicking up dust with every bounce.
i look up and breath in the blue tinted daylight and gag a little.
Luckily... nothing comes up (this time).
i take out a yellowing old wallet photo of you.
smiling at me forever.
i tell you i love you.
you smile at me.
i tell you how much it hurt since you left.
you keep smiling.
no matter how many times i cry to you... scream at you...
no matter how often i stare into your eyes, your reaction remains the same...
you smile at me.
and smile
and smile
and
smile.
i love you and your gone.
i have one moment from your life captured forever
on a decaying wallet photograph.
and that is all i can keep of you
i deserve nothing more.
My blue sunshine fades and dies and ghosts into a dark purple night
with twinkling bright stars.
i walk on alone in the dark deeper into my wasteland.
My basketball is gone...
and so am i.



Spoiled Milk

Radiating Beauties hanging on every word the scum spit's forward. Why cant they ever fall that deep for the lunatic? I said enough

The Watermark

Search this barren valley,Once teeming with aquatic life...now bone dry.
The skulls left behind left grinning with strange toothy smiles.Once upon a time
small delicate waves would break against jagged rocks, rocks that now sit Godly and
elevated touching the bluest of heavens.Their thirst only quenched now by passing rainstorm.The last remnants of this shimmering body of water from the past is the various watermarks left behind.











Love with my whole heart and soul...
Captain PirateFace
I want to love somebody so bad it hurts. I have a lot of love to give,

p.s.

i miss every women i have ever fallen in love with

so, ladies... On those lonely nights just remember that when you are feeling
down or unloved... If the captain ever loved you... he still loves you now.

and...

by the way I think I will never ever date again. Just too much of a wimpy sissy to even try. Hell I can't even approach women. I am afraid to get shot down, in fact the only time I ever asked a girl out we were already on a date and I didn't know it. Yap.

that's all bucko's

Captain PirateFace

random encounters with random ass feelings

So... short update.
I am still Pill and Booze free.
My special lady friend left me high and dry... and that is about as detailed as I am willing to get in regards to her... if you want to know more read into my poetry... might be right, might be wrong.
I have been writing like mad lately.
Good times.
Keeping sane.
Miss updating.
More soon.


Love, Captain PirateFace