Thursday, May 31, 2007
two men enter, one man does not care.
Life sucks as usual.
Things need to end... "soon".
All I know are mosquito's.
i am so tired of being sad
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A happy poem for my cousin.
The sun is shining big and beautiful like the balls of a well liked king for all his subjects to see.
A cartoon cat holds my hand and we skip off to a grassy hill full of cotton candy tree's and naked women all saying,
"Come over here Johnny."
Money and Lemon drops rain down from the blue, blue sky and our grins are so wide and shiny we blind every angel in heaven.
God winks and the pool party begins.
Such a life!
Blessed are thee
My pockets are as empty as my childish heart.
The water of my soul is placid with dark horrible things lurking just beneath the surface.
And worst of all, I have forgotten the comforts of a simple, ordinary kiss.
What have I done?
Where has all the resounding, uplifting hope gone?
Down the well with pennies and pitiful wishes kiddo.
Sitting in cold dark water.
Breaking the ice
I have found you in the same room we both had thought empty.
Searching for our demon's, that have all been long gone for some time.
In the darkness we touch one another's face and feel something all to familiar.
A face wet with tears and mouths turned down into faces given way to disdain and sorrow.
Let me hold you for a moment.
Let me softly kiss those lips.
All selfish I assure you, as I am starved for human interaction.
We don't have to say anything.
Not a single word.
I understand this burden all to well.
Let me lighten that load as I shrug free from mine.
Dream with me tonight.
And lift this curse from one another as though it had forgotten to exist.
sleepytime
Rest this head on pillows.
Close those tired eyes and melt into this shared darkness.
Hold me tight and don't let go.
And, I swear to do the same...
I will not lose you.
Meet me in the middle of a pleasant dream.
Goodnight.
Boo!
Answer: Captain PirateFace
p.s.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
the heart of man? Ha! Lies and trechary!
There's nothing to mourn about death any more than there is to mourn about the growing of a flower. What is terrible is not death but the lives people live or don't live up until their death. They don't honor their own lives, they piss on their lives. They shit them away. Dumb fuckers. They concentrate too much on fucking, movies, money, family, fucking. Their minds are full of cotton. They swallow God without thinking, they swallow country without thinking. Soon they forget how to think, they let others think for them. Their brains are stuffed with cotton. They look ugly, they talk ugly, they walk ugly. Play them the great music of the centuries and they can't hear it. Most people's deaths are a sham. There's nothing left to die.
We're all going to die, all of us, what a circus! That alone should make us love each other but it doesn't. We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing.
-Charles Bukowski-
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Checked out Niagra Falls today... Pretty fookin' cool eh? I actually enjoyed it quite a bit. Not much else as of now, so be good and eat your God damned Vegetables!
______________________________________ Sobriety in life.
The "Winning" has stopped.
And this "losing" has become a sad, tired joke.
Go ahead and laugh though...
I usually end up doing just that before crying.
Setting the spirit free and waiting patiently (If not a tad bit worried) for it's return.
This night while debating myself into yet another stupor...
I pulled out the venom and injected.
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Checked out Niagra Falls today... Pretty fookin' cool eh? I actually enjoyed it quite a bit. Not much else as of now, so be good and eat your God damned Vegetables!
______________________________________ Sobriety in life.
The "Winning" has stopped.
And this "losing" has become a sad, tired joke.
Go ahead and laugh though...
I usually end up doing just that before crying.
Setting the spirit free and waiting patiently (If not a tad bit worried) for it's return.
This night while debating myself into yet another stupor...
I pulled out the venom and injected.
The ghosts came on strong and I swung and batted away at invisible forces...
scaring my love away.
I walked on the beach where the sand bar meets ocean.
Where the ocean meets forever.
Bottle of beer in one hand cracked open and half drunk.
Bad poetry in the other, crumpled up into sad little wads in the other.
Always willing to get rid of a burden I deserted one...
and finished the flat beer while disapearing into a very strange and rediculouse evening.
Before I lay down with those same damn ghosts to talk out our differences and make an offenseive plan against our demons,
I grabbed the first beautiful woman and kissed her full on the mouth.
We both had our moment.
Crying and laughing like two lunatics.
When will somebody drive a stake through the heart of this madness?
F-U
I walked on the beach where the sand bar meets ocean.
Where the ocean meets forever.
Bottle of beer in one hand cracked open and half drunk.
Bad poetry in the other, crumpled up into sad little wads in the other.
Always willing to get rid of a burden I deserted one...
and finished the flat beer while disapearing into a very strange and rediculouse evening.
Before I lay down with those same damn ghosts to talk out our differences and make an offenseive plan against our demons,
I grabbed the first beautiful woman and kissed her full on the mouth.
We both had our moment.
Crying and laughing like two lunatics.
When will somebody drive a stake through the heart of this madness?
F-U
Captain PirateFace
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Def-Con O-N-E
I am in New York. The weather is amazing and all that business. Here are some pictures... poetry shall be coming "soon".
Take a bite you silly creature, it's only my heart.
Like fornicating in a hurricane.
We leave rationality behind.
What is this wicked peace that prays upon me?
Serenity?
I bow to you enchantress and await orders to self defeat and self destruct,
but...
we just stare into eachothers pitifull faces and guess eachothers pain until the thoughts become oine giant scar.
As the stars explode in the sky...
leaving us with unbearable black voids.
Goodnight kittens.
Captain PirateFace
Friday, May 25, 2007
Saturday, May 19, 2007
welcome my son, welcome to the machine
From the dawn of civilization, he has existed in order to undermine it.
His only enemy is the status quo. His only friend is chaos. He has no
government ties and unlimited resources. If something goes wrong, he is
the cause.
Every corner of the earth is under his surveillance. If you
do it, he will see it. Always. he believes the powerful should be made less
powerful. He has heard the voice of society, begging him to destabilize
it. He is Captain PirateFace
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Do you know where you are? You are at the Door to Dreams. To Black Miracles and Dark Wonders - Another Life of Unknown Pleasures...And it's yours
-pinhead-
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for those of you who give a shit, i have not been able to write much lately due to work hours. when i get home i have full intentions of writing but end up passing out when putting the creep to bed. just a very tired person lately, as i write this i have already nodded off twice...
i am having a crisis in faith. i am starting to think that there may be no god.
those of you who come here for the drivel i dispense on a regular basis, i have a question to ask... now, i have asked this question before and got little to no response, which leads me to believe:
a. nobody reeds this garbage
or
b. nobody feels i warrant a response
hopefully neither, but fuck... i too live in reality.
my question is, if i put my $$ into self publishing, would any of you buy it? would you tell your friends about it? would you buy it for a friend? (or enemy? for those who truly hate my work).
you can comment here or e-mail me at captpirateface@aol.com, any response would mean the world to me....
so... on with the crap.
leading us off is an "oldie" i recently reconnected with and was actually pleased with...
(which is a rarity in itself... me being pleased with my own work) i hope you enjoy...........
Animals
this noise produced from our throats
this laughter.
this scream.
begs to be recognized
to be known
our vocal chords are strained and hoarse
On the 23rd day of December in Las Vegas, Nevada
2 people fought like animals in a lone apartment building
one walked out that night with a permanent scar above her right eye
the other sat in the restroom weeping with a cup of Drano in his hands
but was too much of a coward to do himself in.
In the wind soft buzzing like static ignites our memories
warm patches of air surprise us in a shiver of discontent when the cold air hits us again
and we never wear enough cloths to be comfortable
this desert is full of surprises tonight.
On the 16th of January in Las Vegas, Nevada
a young man sits across a street watching the shape of a woman
slowly undress before her closed blinds
instead of joy it makes him sad knowing she can never be his
little does he know it only takes a fifty dollar bill to make her bark like a dog.
All the little ladies are in heat tonight
and us gentlemen walk the streets at the ready
dry humping the air
drooling on our tux
full of arousal
as animal control seeks to clip away our manhood
On the 14th of February in Las Vegas, Nevada
broken hearts are mended and rescued
and true love gets the sharp end of a knife
as the couples Love, destroy, fornicate, pleasure, buy
and give sad eyed goodbyes
I yawn as I wait for her to stop talking so I can kiss her mouth
Animals in the streets
Animals on the farm
butchered
eaten
domesticated
loved
Animals tearing it all to pieces.
one more "oldie" for shits and giggles eh?
Sucker Punched
Boy: Hey grandma!
(Grandma pulls back her fist and swings with a hard right connecting with her grandson’s jaw)
Boy: Jesus Grandma! What the hell was that for?! You coulda broke my damn jaw!
Grandma: ………Pussy…….
(Grandma walks of laughing)
*
The time for swallowing of the poison
Taking a sip that turns into a gulp.
A gulp that turns into a broken glass slammed to hard against the bat.
Chin hitting the asphalt leaving skin and dignity.
move along to the next dive.
And when sitting at the bar, you slip out little poems of truth and pain.
Some truth's and most lies...
but put full belief in every single one.
The bartender pretends to listen and empathize because he needs the tips.
The ladies don't even turn there heads anymore.
They can smell the lack of success, they can smell death.
Some might say that it's the poisoning of the soul.
You say it was poisoned a long damn time ago.
A sip becomes a gulp.
A gulp becomes a sigh...
and eventually, ends in tears.
Let the end of the world come baby, I've got my man pants on!
Apocalypse?
The end is near?
I figured that out the day I hit puberty.
The day I got popped in the nose by the neighborhood bully.
When my shirt met the blood running down my face.
I knew about such things after my first strong drink.
After my first used condom.
I knew the day my pride took a vacation and never came home.
When the biblical end comes I have a few words that need to be heard.
When the end is here, I will be the guy with a stern face in the corner ready to straiten Jesus Christ out.
I have some questions that need answering.
I have spent every waking second since the day I was born working on dying.
Haven't we all?
Let me love the hell out of you
November 18th 1978, Jim Jones led the mass suicide and some murder of over 900 individuals.
And the romantic in me would like to believe that some died holding hands.
Let me love the hell out of you.
This wicked old heart of mine, ready to burst.
Like the twenty kiloton bomb let loose at Trinity on July 16th, 1945.
Let me love the hell out of you.
But baby, you don't need any kind of history lesson.
And all I want to teach you is how to love a damn fool like me.
Let me love the hell out of you.
Worse things have happened right?
the untimely death of sweet goodbye's
A look past the iris of my eyes and I begin to get nervous with love and blink.
And to take you in is an enormous challenge...
My heart had been scraped and hollowed out so long ago that it becomes near painful to fill it with you...
but it's a pain I gladly embrace.
I take my bitten down nails and pinch my skin to make sure this cant be a dream.
It hasn't been for some time.
When our lips meet the world goes mute and I can feel the electricity in the air.
Many years later when you break my heart into a thousand pieces, this memory will be the focal point of pain.
But for now it is mine.
All mine forever and ever.
*
goodnight
Captain PirateFace
Monday, May 14, 2007
enjoy the view of this water, where my lifeboat is sinking.
Can God fill teeth?
A Message to Sheri:
I just wanted to say thank you for always taking the time to read and comment my posts.
I truly appreciate that when you read them you bring yourself to the very much needed emotional level to read them, that truly means a great deal to me. I always want to reply to what you write but when I get here to write I am on a very strange emotional level. If you ever want to drop me a line, my e-mail is captpirateface@aol.com. It's nice to know that when I look a the counter on the bottom of the page that it isn't just going up because of me. Your comments mean the world to me as it shows that what you are reading is reaching you some place and bringing forth an emotional response. I think, Sheri that your family is lucky to have you and I am probably guessing that you are an excellent mother and wife. Thanks again and I hope this does not put you off on leaving comments as it makes me feel that I can write more if people are actually plugging in with me in this erratic mind.
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I did not pass out any of my zines at ArtFest today as it just did not seem like my crowd. hehe.
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Hey! Who wants some crap!
Jesus
I fall on broken knee's and broken heart.
As most of our conversations go, I scream and curse out into the night...
Pleading to God and Christ, begging the question "why"?
Those within earshot say nothing, just shaking their heads.
I wait for an answer and the silence in response is always heartbreaking.
I think of those who have no lack of faith.
Those that God carries and forgives.
For a moment it hurts me.
I sometimes wish I had that but,
I am a lonely soul with neither party particularly interested.
One for "The man in the planet"
Over dramatic fat man: I am here my friend. Holding out my hand, ready to return the many favors you have sent my way. All you have to do is grab one. I promise I will not let go.
The suffering hero who is hero to all but himself: I don't need saving friend.
Over dramatic fat man: You lie to save face? You are split in so many directions you cannot even recognize yourself anymore. You judge and in the next breath after the thought you lay on the sweets, afraid to break those around you but, yet again... splitting yourself from the middle. You have the worlds answers and give them out gladly to all but the one person who truly needs them. You love us from a far, you keep your distance why? So you can love us and judge us and keep those ghosts haunting un-interrupted?
The suffering hero who is hero to all but himself: How dare you?! I don't need help, I am fine! I do not judge anyone. I am here for all of you. Always. I am the shoulder you can cry on.
The Over dramatic fat man: Here for us all when all we truly want is to be there for you. But the distance is a great excuse isn't it? The perfect scape goat. Heal the world then. Heal it and become the martyr instead of the hero. I cannot beg for something you have to be already aware of... we do not want a martyr... we want to save our hero....
The suffering hero who is hero to all but himself: ......................................
How will the story end? In heartbreak? In a nifty twist ending? Happily ever after? We cannot honestly say. The end cannot be determined by anyone but one character...
We cannot begin to guess what choice they will make.
Oh yeah.
The sparkle of those eyes.
The spotlight catching our embraced shadows.
With no trace of our crime anywhere.
A mix tape created to seduce on side A.
And fall in love on side B.
The night has become pure danger.
Our "swear jar" is full of quarters and dollar bills.
And we crash our car into the waves of a midnight moonlit ocean.
Sea creatures staring in disbelief as we make love in the sand.
And when the sun begins to rise these erratic hearts will explode.
Our mistakes will shatter the sensibilities of former lovers and enraged admirers.
When we fall into the darkness of each others eyes and taste the sweet in our wet kiss...
We will become nova.
And the world will never forget us.
The pictures from the photo booth of silly faces, warm embraces and tender kisses
will fascinate for all eternity.
The poet.
The singer.
The madman.
The lover.
The artist.
The fearful.
Openly weep.
And I am right there with them.
What have we left to fear?
i lost my true love in an ocean of doubt and sorrow...
we are still drowning.
in the darkness i walk arms out and fingers spread,
sometimes i swear i can feel your ghost.
the sky has lost it's sparkle and the heavens have disappeared.
the angels have gone.
Did I lose some readers tonight?
More tomorrow....
Love, Captain PirateFace
"This is your world in which we grow, and we will grow to hate you"
-MM-
my problem is i love too much.
Monday, May 07, 2007
to tell the truth?
Last night I had the most lucid dream. I was floating/falling down through the middle of a circular rusted and poorly put together scaffolding. As I was descending I could see hanging onto the scaffolding different strange creatures and humanoids. The creatures looked like something out of a Dr. Seuss book and the humanoids looked dirty and overly happy, like euphoric castaways from “Mad Max beyond Thunder Dome”. As I was descending they kept telling me to look deeper. And somehow I knew I was looking for my inner self. They began screaming to look even deeper laughing while doing so. At that moment my alarm clock woke me up (4:30am) and I turned it off drifting back to sleep. I picked up immediately in my dream right where I left off. I looked down and as I continued descending it began to get darker. Look deeper they all screamed at me. I told them I couldn’t because I had to wake up and get ready for work. But I continued to descend. As I did I felt that I was drawing closer to my inner self and felt terror and just before taking a look at what was waiting for me at the bottom I made myself wake up.
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Today my body feels heavy and awkward. Like having difficulty walking and just feeling listless. My soul must be getting heavier.
____________________
I walked into the shower, turned on the water and looked into my shower mirror. The person I saw I did not recognize. Who was this sad eyed person. Unshaven, sad, dark circled eyes… fat neck. Hair partially died black hanging down over the face. This is not the person I remember being. I remember being youthful and full of life and no matter what the world threw at me and no matter how down I got I always promised I would succeed. This person in front of me is lost. A loser. What have I become? Who is this horrible person? I turned the water hotter and the steam began to erase the image I saw leaving a hazy outline… And for that I was thankful.
_______________________________________________________ and now... time for some baaaad poetry (gotta warn you kiddo's tonight's ramblings are pretty damn strange.. even to the old Captain here).
Now we watch carefully
Late at night a rock wall and small pond are illuminated by the moon. The water cascades down the rocks into the small dark water pond. The smell of damp grass and tree's overtakes me. The lies rot and fall off my skin and I am new again. The weight is gone and I have become almost... Handsome. Diving into the dark water I feel the hands of lost love embrace me. Dragging me down into the darkness. As the air burst from my lungs. Couldn't hold on to it for too long.
("Girls" by Gina: www.myspace.com/artbygina)
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I have seen the pale horse
I have trained for battle with the wickedest of women.
I have suffered stigmatic and wept.
I have embraced seven deadly sins and broke through the surface.
I am not a dog that can be put down.
I will grin and bare my teeth for the world to see I have eaten bloody and well.
I have seen the pale horse, and death was upon him.
The thick air
Tonight I lay flat on my back looking up at the stars in a vague attempt to see God.
I see nothing but darkness, littered with glistening jewels that once in a while seem to plummet into nothingness.
Tonight I lay flat on my back wishing there was a way I could take all the hurt back.
Take all the infliction and suffering and shove it into a big black hole of nothingness.
Tonight I lay flat on my back and stare at the girl grinding naked on top of me, not really being interested in all her carrying about and yelling. Thinking that I want nothing more than just one more un-interrupted minuet with you. I look at her and close my eyes focusing on the vast nothingness and pray she doesn't see the tear that is trailing down the side of my face.
To see this beast as it really is
A broken mirror and the scent of heartache hanging heavy in the air.
The night hangs dark and heavy like a umbilical to it's noose.
The panic has spread and the ladies are in deep denial.
But we promise you this...
We will not rest until your soul is properly raped and reused and photocopied for the world to laugh collectively at you.
Not too bad for a night?
As if you have ever had better.
see ya later said the Captain.