Welcome to the Meat Parade!
Hola,
So... here is how things have been as of late...
Last Thursday me and "The Frank" went to see the band "Plain White Tee's". (Frank had won ticket's from the radio station AREA108)
We luckily missed almost all the opening bands except a band from Canada who's name I purged from my mind in hopes that all memory of them would vanish. The singer looked as though he was stuck in 1976 (and not in a... Kickass Retro way either) and the music was an un-inspired emo/hardcore/What the fuck is this shit style. Plain White Tee's took to the stage and I realized instantly that I wasn't going to dig their sound. It's just to Lovey-Dovey-I'm gonna get my sorority girlfriend loaded on booze and put this CD on and screw her in the pooper in the name of love. It's not that they can't play their instruments, it's just that it's all the same song but at different tempo's. I would have madly loved them if I was a Frat Dude with highlighted tips on my spiky, already blond hair or a Sorority Girl who thinks because this band has a somewhat punk beat they are "totally" like into rock and are living on the edge. (yes there were plenty of those two at the show and they all danced along to the music just as I imagine they would dance to music in a Vegas hip-hop/techno club). And I would probably have loved the band if I was a pre-pubescent teenage girl who no longer think boys are "icky" and are writing notes to all my friends rating all the "Hot" boys on a number scale (1-10 respectfully). Oh and if you like the band... I do apologize... that you enjoy that shite music.
Let's just say that I am glad that I was on Pain med's, Muscle Relaxers and Booze to get me through the show.
p.s. If you were one of the random people I gave my new "Ghetto" zine too, yes... I "the chunky, tall weirdo who looked like a super dork who handed you the zine" was me... your humble Author... Captain PirateFace.
Friday we went "Ghost Hunting" (Pictures will be up one day when I am not feeling so damn lazy) with The Frank, Jon Giddinge and my new friend Laura. The Lowdown....
We laughed our asses off more than we got creeped out.
We have a few pictures with "Ghost Orbs", if you don't know what that means... go to Wickipedia and look that shit up.
And tonight/last night I got to enjoy a very good band at a much more personable venue...
Death By Stereo at the University Theatre.
The opening bands... (which I cannot recall the names of) held their own and had amazing sound in their respectful styles. And the ticket price would have been well worth the cost for the opening bands alone, but....
Death By Stereo fucking rocked and it felt nice.
My wife and devil son came to the show as well and the creeper, Gabriel had a blast.
If you have seen Death By Stereo, you know that no review can do them justice... it has to be experienced. And for those of you who have not seen them yet... It has to be experienced...
here is a picture of my wife and my boy with the main man of Death By Stereo.
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As far as my mood swings and their intensity goes... still there, still no damn fun.
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and for your viewing pleasure, may I present to you a scanned copy of my new zine by the same name as this horrific blog "Pornography On The Radio" which will be put out monthly on and at the First Friday event in Downtown Las Vegas.
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I asked two Very good buddies of mine (Ben and Tony) if occasionally they wouldn't mind doing illustrations for my more "funny"-"Fucked"-and "Strange" ramblings...
they both said "Heck Yeah!"
My first poem/rambling I sent to them was this:
A day of fucking up the bad dudes
He pulled up in a motorcycle
The villains around him stopped dead in their tracks,
One large brute yelled out "Get Him!!!!!"
At which our hero replied "Wrong decision little pal",
Pulling a small sidearm out and taking aim. They fell fast and hard, this had been too easy he thought.
Dr. Ape was smarter then any average ape... hence the title of Dr. Just then the ground began to shake and a large drill bit penetrated the surface of the earth... The dust began to clear and our hero could see Dr. Ape at the controls of a large robotic suite with drills for hands and flamethrowers built in. (For added effect of course) Dr. Ape yelled out "Finally I will destroy you and your silly Government!" "Don't count on it you primate!" heroically our hero yelled back. Taking aim he shot at the weakest point that the robotic drill techno terror had, Dr. Apes head. As Dr. Ape lay dead our hero stands silently staring off into the sunset. "Another one of these day's and I just know I'll get heartburn." as the sun sets our hero walks back to his bike and rides off to thwart evil in some other far off land.
My first response is from Ben Hall at www.blueskycomics.com, Posted Below for your viewing pleasure! (As soon as I get Tony's that too shall be posted.)
Enjoy that shit? I sure as hell did!!!!
work... That Ben Hall, what a If you did please head on over to www.blueskycomics.com and check out this craaaaazy bitch!! Gotta Love Em'!
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On with the inane ramblings of a complete psychotic madman.
Enjoy...
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An exchange: a pound of flesh for a pound of gold.She begs me.
Like starving…
She drags a wet tongue across the glass.
Pleading eyes and the steam fogging the glass with hot breath.
Begging for it.
Begging for me.
Even through this pretend obstructed lust,
through the false want…
You can see a sad tired face.
Dragged through a thorn bush world filled with humiliation and several heartbreaks.
And I almost always lose interest… “almost”.
I slip in another Twenty and she presses bare breasts against the glass, flattening her nipples.
Feeding my fantasy…
As I inadvertently… feed her bastard kids.
Pretending the winner is me…Smiling.
In the winners circle.
Like a jackass.
In a dark room with pre-recorded applause…alone.
Nobody to watch the grinning idiot staring at his reflection in a broken mirror.
Clapping.
Reckless and ridiculous.
His golden ticket.
A Jesus state of mindshe opens up this darkness to me.
I am safe.
secure.
in utero.
snuggling in the wet darkness of the womb.
The Embryonic sac turns to wine for the sacrament...
Light pours in.
I am bathed in iridescent blue light.
Excited I die quickly and the world collapses unto me.
I emerge from the sun victorious and deranged...
Smiling for you.
Smiling for them.
My love will atomize your hearts.
And he sun shall burst with love, love, love.
Like a floor model mannequinThe relationship had grown from lust and seduction to Love.
And from love that same relationship had rot to destruction and anger,
pain and sex.
And that same relationship lay dead on the cold floor broken and busted like a floor model mannequin.
Robots and Robots and this seduction that feels "too" damn good...My God this Sci-Fi breakable wind up toy heart has done me no damn good!!!
That night we lay on our backs watching the stars explode demanding wishes to be granted by God. Holding each others hands and then bodies to keep one another warm from the offending cold weather.
The telephone calls that we cleverly orchestrated when the hate bubbled up to bring one another to tears... and even though the words had all been birthed from lies they still stung like a needle slowly pushed into the skin.
The breathing machines and the life support cords we yanked out of walls, keeping our demons alive and well. The smile we gave each other, so coy and clever when we thought we had beat our fears.
We never knew we would have to fear one another.
The way you gave up on me, claiming that there would never be enough robotic parts in this world to fix all that I had broken inside me... all the parts you loved.
My blatant love for you even as that strange little alarm clock heart came tumbling down and breaking...
Giving off one final Coo Koo bird cry.
And your final walk away from me..
Only glancing back long enough to let me see the tears on your face, to let me know that you too, were hurting.
Lastly, my cowardice as I watched you walk away into the night as I stood there beaten and not brave enough to command my heart to love, my soul to feel.
The moment our star exploded.
Waiting for the clouds to part...The rain will pour down and wash my skin of the sin and the doom I have wrought upon this world. The darkness in my cloths and the dirt from my hands and under these fingernails will be carried away with the water into the gutters. I will breath deeply in the air cleared of the smell of death and rot. Music will fill my heart and my soul will be dancing. And when the sun breaks through those amazing dark clouds, the light will not cause me to shrink away and hide in dark corners or the inside of bottles of poison... No, I will open my arms and embrace the sun. I will finally rise up.
Never alone again...
Above it all.
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"Not so funny humor"
Presented and illustrated by Captain PirateFace
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Goodnight, Good Luck and Fornicate Like the God Damned Wild Beasts you all are...
In a good sense of course...
Captain PirateFace
(And she said to him about the nefarious Blogger....)
go see the gangsta G at www.myspace.com/artbygina
